Sunday, August 19, 2012

All Flowers In Time Bend Toward The Sun

Recently this song came up on my "All_In_One" playlist and ironically I had never heard it before.I was having a really challenging day and it seemed that I could not be consoled. This has to be one of the most cathartic songs I've ever heard. I love Jeff Buckley, and it took me a while to figure out whether I liked the woman's voice who was singing with him. It turned out that I did like it and even



now listening to it I find that it is so expressive, so intensely emotional it's hard to describe how it hits me. One of the things that a friend told me recently is that one of the characteristics that they really liked about me is that after I've fallen down, I get up immediately and move on with my life. I don't know exactly how I acquired that trait but it has served me well in the past and I believe it serves me well now. Despite a series of recent setbacks I will continue to move on. One of the things that is very interesting to me is to see my history (or at least the last 12 years) on my blog and to see how I've grown and changed but still remain true to myself. One of the fascinating things to me is that, despite events I still retain the core being that is essentially me. I know it sounds odd but if you think about it, there is sometimes a tendency to loose yourself in other people, in other events, in relationships. This happened to me early on in high school with my best friend David. We were so in love with one another (platonic) and so enamored with the other that we slowly, over the course of a couple years, began taking on the traits of the other. I think it's a perfectly natural to do have that happen, but on the other hand I think there's a danger in loosing yourself completely in that kind of a situation.

Jeff Buckley feat. Elizabeth Fraser - All Flowers In Time Bend Towards The Sun


my eyes are
a baptism
oh i am filth
and sing her
into my thoughts
oh phantom elusive thing oh,

all flowers in time bend towards the sun
i know you say that there's no-one for you
but here is one,
all flowers in time bend towards the sun
i know you say that there's no-one for you
but here is one, here is one... here is one

aah, ooh...
one that can never be known
either all drunk with the world at her feet
or sober with no place to go

all flowers in time bend towards the sun
i know you say that there's no-one for you
but here is one,
all flowers in time bend towards the sun
i know you say that there's no-one for you
but here is one, here is one... here is one

aah, ooh...
we could go (......)
we can travel round
fading farther from me
with your face in my window call

when will you weep for me
sweet willow

it's ok to be angry
but not to hurt me
your happiness, yes, yes, yes
darling, darling,
oooh...

all flowers in time bend towards the sun
i know you say that there's no-one for you
but here is one,
all flowers in time bend towards the sun
i know you say that there's no-one for you
but here is one, here is one... here is one

I recently had the chance to get out of the city and work with a friend of mine on a manual labor job. I quickly jumped at the offer and signed up for the gig. One of the things that I saw as we were driving through Independence, MO was, brace yourself, a confederate flag proudly flying over a private residence. I was completely shocked. After living in Kansas City for 12 going on 13 years I guess I am sheltered from that kind of brazen display. People have demonstrations, and advocate for lots of things that I agree or disagree with but this type of brazen racism is just shocking. I guess it shouldn't be so shocking to me. Living in Chicago with a population of millions upon millions of people you ran into the possibility that there were some things that I really couldn't stand. But Illinois is no different than Missouri, when you get 50 miles outside of Chicago you'll still find major rural areas and let's just say the attitudes that go with it. Still, I found myself just recoiling from the brazen display of hatred. Needless to say after the job there was an offer to find a local watering hole and having a drink which I passed on, got in my truck and got back to the city as quick as possible. Being a gay man in the country just freaks me out. I don't like it. I feel like I have to watch my back, watch my conversations, watch everything like a hawk. I was discussing with my friend that I wasn't interested in going to some local hick-ass bar and giving some hick-ass some opportunity to beat the shit out of me because I have a rainbow flag on my car, or an Obama/Biden sticker. Give me the urban environment, give me tons of traffic, tons of people, DIVERSITY, anytime over the country.

Speaking of Obama/Biden, according to the Kansas City Election Board website, you have until October 10 to register if you want to vote in the general election.