Wednesday, February 28, 2001

HMC Musings

2/28/01 (this is an email from Michael Sullivan that I got and responded to, since I dont have a lot of time, I thought I'd just post it here.)
Hi Bill,
Too bad Chorus was cancelled last night, but I'm glad I didn't have to be out in the weather. How have your first few days at Shook been? Is everything going alright?
HEY! Well, I was actually sort of glad that we didn't have chorus on Tuesday, I just did NOT want to reherse after that Saturday retreat/rehersal thing. Anyways, the Shook thing is wonderful, the people are really nice, I believe that I'll be working in the Accounting Department, not on the 37th floor, but on the 38th floor! That is terribly exciting, we just went up (as part of our orientation) to the Accounting department today, and we had a meeting up in their conference room and the view, is just amazing, just breathtaking. Apparently (and this is really not confirmed, because no one really knows anything, every one is just sort of shuffling us to our next scheduled event) I'm going to be working for the controller of the accounting department. There's about 5 other people in my training class, which is really nice, so we're all going through the experience together, it's pretty simple. They're just training us on their computer system, and the WordPerfect system they use is wonderful, it's all just macros macros and more MACROS, they've just STRESSED macros, because all of the memo's, and all of the letters and fax cover sheets, and all of that kind of thing are all on macros, so all you have to do is just put the information in and print it out, and that's all you have to do, so it's fabulous that way. There's a couple people in the class who are working in the tobacco department and they have gone to some independant orientation's and they have just said that the thing that THEY stress, is security security security! It's just really amazing, but I don't have to worry about any of that information because I'm not in tobacco. I was sort of dissapointed when they said that I was going to be in the accounting deparment, because I sort of wanted to work for some of the lawyers, but when they said that I was going to work for the Controller (the woman who RUNS that department) I was okay :-) Anyway, it's going great, it should work out brilliantly! talk to you soon,


This is actually out of order, so deal with it! Subject: Re: Check this out
Date: Tue, 27 Feb 2001 23:14:45 EST
So hey what's up? Is Richard back yet? Ok I swear to GOD I will never EVER have roommates after this whole situation is over. Like Brad has a TV in his room he can watch it in there. And he's all curled up on the couch with some girl who is NOT his girlfriend. So disrespectful to his girlfriend. I would be so pissed off. WHATEVER!!! So anyways. Whatever's clever. I have no idea where Vanessa went. She made chicken and potatos and there's none left which would be odd. Did she just take off with the chicken and potatos? I don't get it. At all. Oh Bill I am constantly exhausted!!! I can't wait for this quarter to be over. Talk to you later. Sucks about the snow. I hope we don't get any of it.
Leila, I've found that if you just totally seperate yourself from the DRAMA of your roomates, you'll be MUCH better off in the long run. I mean, whether Brad is curled up with some beeeyatch, is no concern of yours, what you have to do is find your own man to curl up with, and have him fuck you in the ass when you're under the covers, that's what's really important here. Seriously, if you give out all of your energy into worrying about them, you've left none for yourself, and as I've told you many times, in this world, you have only to worry about one person, which is ME! (not your forbidden lover the CHUPACABRA, but yourself) I just found out today that I will be working not on the 37th floor of the One Kansas City Place building, but on the 38th floor, in the accounting department. My mom called me to, and just wanted to know how I was doing, and if I was eating, and if I was alive, and I said yes, yes I am not in jail or anything like that. I sometimes think about all the stories that we have experienced that she has no idea about, and I just have to laugh to myself. anyway, brush all the excess stuff off Leila, it'll only drain you, and in the immortal worlds of Tracy Chapman, i can't waste my precious energy! Girl, I am good tonight! love you, B

Wednesday, February 21, 2001

I Believe I Can Fly

Well a couple of things today, we had rehersal last night with the chorus, and I must say that we are sounding wonderful. There is a retreat that is planned for this saturday the 24th, for all day at the Broadway Baptist church in Kansas City, I don't know if I'll be able to go to that or not, it all depends if I can get a ride or not. I probably will, I hope I can, just because I don't want to be stuck and bored all day at home, not doing anything, plus I would love to go out on Saturday night. Richard is rehersing right now with this cello person, he's this young high school boy, I won't even go there. Anyway, I am excited about this concert, and, I keep on thinking about going back to Chicago for Easter and staying with Leila. I just spoke with David this morning, he said that he wasn't speaking with Ken, his ex-ex lover, who is now marrying a woman. That's such a long story I won't even get into it, but needless to say that they're apparently not talking to eachother anymore. More later. 02/21/01 4:40pm So anyway, I talked with the chexsystems people today and then after being on hold for about thirty minutes I finally spoke with someone. So, anyway I, of course, in my paranoid mind thought that it was going to be much worse than it was, the amount of the ONE check that I had was \\$36.37. I just couldn't believe it, I was telling Richard that I would have loved to know what the check that I wrote in 1989 for $36 was for. No matter, it just feels so good that I am finally taking care of this stuff, and after it's cleared up, which should be like thirty days, then I will never ever have this problem again, in my LIFE! I can apply for credit, I can apply for loans, and all this sort of stuff, and I'll have a job at Shook, which I plan to have for a long time, so this check thing is just a step in my master plan. It just feels good to have things rolling in a good direction. It really is amazing to have control over these things. I do have to say, that in Chicago, I felt (now, in retrospective I can say this) sort of out of control, even though I was living on my own, and living independently, I felt like my life was sort of spiraling out of control, I was unemployed, I was renting an apartment that I couldn't pay for, drinking all of my money away, smoking all of my money away, figuratively of course, but it's amazing once you become a non-smoker, and get control of these sorts of things, you wonder how they ever got out of control in the first place, and I will consider myself totally lucky that I got control and just an awareness of them in general. Whoop there it is. I believe I can fly.

Tuesday, February 20, 2001


Well a couple of things, I spoke with Leila last night and we made final plans for Easter, I apparently will be staying with her in Naperville. That should be fun, I'm sure we'll enjoy some moderate drinking and some lovely festivities, who knows what'll happen. I told her that I wanted to get arrested in Naperville, and she thought that was hysterical. So anyways today is Gabriella's birthday. I sent Cara an email that told Gabby happy birthday and told her to expect something in the mail soon. I am sort of excited to go to Chicago now, it'll be a great little homecoming and it's not far off, March 15th of something like that, how fun. So Richard right now is rehersing with Jerome and Bukeka, and I should show their webpage also, wait a second, I have to remember it, it's Classic Vocals Bukeka has one of the most beautiful voices that I've ever heard, and it's so nice because they've been rehersing for the last couple of weeks at our house, and it's been such a treat to listen to them reherse with Richard. I can't think of anything else to say so I'll put in that little prayer: I Give Service God is all there is; there is nothing that is not God. God is etenal, infintite, and absolute. It is unlimited supply and substance. This truth pours itself into me. I know I, too, am unlimited substance and supply. God lives, moves, and has Its life in and through me. I joyously share my good. At times, my cup may appear half full, but I see with the eyes of Spirit and know my cup is not only full, it is always overflowing with an unlimited supply of good. I have more than enough for myself and plenty to share. I am abundant in all areas of my life because I recognize Spirit in my life. God is overflowing, unlimited spiritual energy into which I speak my word. It instantaneously demonstrates the good I declare. It is my greatest joy to share, serve, love and honor all God is. Everywhere I look I see the richness of God. I am blessed. My heart is full fof gratitude, and whoop so it is. :-)

Monday, February 19, 2001

2:14pm Well I thought since I can't post this on the website, that I'll send myself an email, and the next time that I can get a chance to update the site, I'll just pull this off th email. So anyway, let me think, there has been so much going on lately, I got that job, on Sunday John Sims and Bill Nelson and Jim King and I sang at Richard's church to a thunderous applause! It was really great to sing that, and experience that, it was just a great affirmation that we sang well. The other thing about that service was that I got very emotional because the talk was about "getting in the flow" and letting yourself experience your full potential, and that god wants you to experience your fullest potential, and that the only thing that is limiting us from doing that is us, and we are the ones that get in the way of doing that, we block ourselves... we "block the blessings" as somebody I know says. I just kept on thinking about all the changes in my life, and how wonderfully everything has turned out, my drivers license is on the way to getting fixed, I am gainfully employed (well, I will be in a week or so, but I still have a job waiting for me) I found this wonderful love that I never expected. That's really the biggest thing that I have experienced, is the full-on-gonna-crack-you-in-the-brain-stomp-you-on-the-floor-make-a-blind-man-see sort of love that only gets richer every day. I was just emailing Leila, and I was telling her that in my past I have done things to sabatoge whatever I'm doing, I've sabatoged jobs by being fired, I've sabatoged relationships by being completely selfish, and not paying attention to the other partner, I've just done alot of things that I want to change, and I am in the process of changing. I want this job to last a long time, becuase Shook Hardy and Bacon is like, one of the best law firms in the county, and how wonderful is that that I have a job there. Another thing is, and Richard and I have talked about this somewhat at length, is that, your life is just a series of today's. You can't change the past, so let it go, you can't live in the future, although having a good vision is great, but you can't live constantly in the future, all you can live in is today, and if I just keep that attitude, and keep "pushin on" as Sabrina used to say, I'll do fine, personally, financially, emotionally, and spiritually. I know I am on a good road right now, I just need to keep it going, keep the momentum going and everything else will take care of itself. Whoop there it is! 2/19/01 4:56 pm Okay, I forgot a couple of things, first of all, there was a quote from yesterday's little prayer book, that I thought was great. "the significant problems we face can never be solved at the level of thinking that created them." Albert Einstein. I don't want to stay on this for a long time, but, last night I went out with John Sims and his roomate, and Larry Barker and Doug, and we went to this hypnotist guy at the comedy club and it was just too hysterical, John Sims declared that his name was "Shemiqua"/Martha Stewart told him something/selling popcorn/mermaid can do some work in the yard/ it was just so hysterical because the guy who was hypnotisizng everyone was playing with John because he was so easily suggestible. So hysterical. So then after that, they all went home, and I went with Craig, to Peter Norcross' home to his "Queer as Folk" party in the limo, and then we went to the plaza... and took a tour of the plaza, and then went to the dixie belle, and then just overall created havoc in Kansas City, then the driver dropped Craig off, and then dropped me off at the house. Hysterical, and really fun evening.Spirit Creates through Me "There is only One Creative Power in the universe. I recognize myself as God's instrument of creation. I know Spirit creates as me, through my thoughts. As I contemplate the manificent universe in which I live, I see creation in progress everywhere. In the nebulae, stars are forming. Spirit is always manifesting through Its creation, and that includes me. I choose my thoughts carefully. I create love by recognizing the Love of God in all I see. I create peace by knowing God's peace in my heart. I create Joy by celebrating the magnificence of all God is. This day, I delight in all I see. As the conscious creator of my life, I am grateful for this day and for all Spirit manifests as and through me. I relsease my word to the perfect Law, knowing it is already done."Whoop there it is!

Saturday, February 17, 2001

Pierce Patterson You Scandalous Whore You

Well, it's like 7:24a.m., and Pierce is coming to pick up the computer, so I have to put this journal in right now. We went to the chorus mixer last night, it was a murder mystery thing, and it was fun, nobody paid any attention to the murder mystery, they just paid attention to the free boos and the free food :-) I had a couple conversations that were very interesting, I'll just save that for later.

Friday, February 16, 2001


[Editors note: I am reading through these journal entry and I just have to laugh at how supremely naive I am at nearly every point's weird how you can't go back to that point, but you can remember where in your brain you were. I hope that made sense]

Libra,February 16, 2001 Mix business with pleasure and be creative in your approach to projects. You need to do a few things for yourself. Get out and get involved in some of those hobbies you enjoy. You need an outlet for your stress. You can make new friends if you do a bit of traveling. You'd better finish off those domestic chores you've left undone.
Scorpio,February 16, 2001
Finish projects regardless of the help you get. Emotional blackmail may be used by your mate. Put a little pizzazz into your work. Your extra efforts will be appreciated. You need to spend some time getting yourself back into shape. Shopping will be enticing. Love will blossom.

Well, a couple of things. I just told Richard not twenty minutes ago that I wanted to go shopping, that because of the good news that I finally got a job, I wanted to reward myself and I wanted to go to the mall and buy myself a cd or something, buy something, because you know what, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me! No, I'm just getting a little big of cabin fever today, it's a beautiful day out, and I need to do a bunch of errands, namely pick up my check from Spherion, I have two rolls of film that I want to get developed, we need to buy some groceries for the house, stuff like that. There's a great picture of Richard that I stole from Chris Michaels webpage, so I suppose that I should give him credit for it, even though it's Richard's picture, but to receive it, you gotta give it right? So here is Chris Michaels business website, and here is my beautiful MAN! That's his professional picture, the one that he sends to all of his professional people, for the promotional materials, programs bio's etc. Isn't that such a great picture? I just love it, all in his tux and everything. The other great thing about yesterday was that I got the receipt from the Circuit Court of DuPage county,t thank you jesus, I got that back, so now I need to make copies of both that receipt and the receipt that I have from the courthouse from downstate Illinois, and send those to the Secretary of State, of Illinois, so they can clear up my license and I can finally get a Missouri license. That'll be the biggest day that I have here, I am going to have a job, a drivers license, WOO HOO. I know that may not sound like a big deal, but for a person who's had a suspended license for the longest time, and for a person who's been unemployed for the longest time, those are two major things. I knew moving here would be a good thing for me. You know how you sort of know in what direction you're moving, but you don't know where you're going? That's how I felt when I first moved to Kansas City, I knew that I was moving in the right direction, but until it becomes tangible, until I really STOPPED smoking, until I really started to look for a job, it didnt' really appear to me. That's what I guess the lesson is, is that you have to start moving along the path, and give a big leap of faith, and then it will all appear to you. I love it. Even though I think I already knew that lesson, and I have learned that a long time ago, it was very obvious to me in the last couple weeks. I was reading the little booklet that Richard gets every month, and it has a little saying for every day, a little "spiritual mind treatment" (that's what this church calls prayer) and I thought that the one for today was especially appropriate for my life, as I am a singer and a performer so here it goes:
"Knowing my senses cannot know Truth, but only facts, I place the power of my focus and attention on Spirit. It indwells me each and every moment. God, the Creator, is all there is. My spiritual work is to know God; it begins within and radiates outward into my world.
I sing the song of goodness and love. Spirit brought me into life; It birthed, animated, and energized me. I am God singing Its song of Joy! It is always with me. The Indwelling Life is living as me and singing through me as delight and bliss. my indwelling song is the Glory of God. My joy is sharing and giving back to Spirit through my talents, work, church, and experience.
In joyous reciprocity, I return the beauteous song God has sung to me, giving back to the Universe some of what It has so gloriously and lavishly shared. My life is jubilant and lively as I dwell on the sacredness of life and the beautiful song that Spirit sings as me. And so it is.
Whoop there it is.

Thursday, February 15, 2001

Libra,February 15

Libra,February 15
Your memory will aid you in creative endeavors. Your openness will result in new friendships. Don't neglect minor health problems in the hope that they'll go away. Get the problem checked out no matter how trivial. Why suffer if you don't have to? Denial is your enemy. Talk to those who can make a difference

Scorpio,February 15
Look into the possibilities and talk to people who have traveled to the lands that interest you. You may want to take care of personal paperwork. Elders will need some help. Don't neglect your family. Try not to make unreasonable promises. You will have a problem with your partner if you let emotions get in the way.
I am if you can imagine that. Well we've sort of ran into a problem with the Charlie. Well I've been sending him cashier's checks for the hospice thingy, but the last one that I sent to him never got to him, and we just found out that it wasn't cashed, so that's a good thing, I'll just have to cancel the cashier's check and then have the bank issue another one, and then overnight that to him. We'll see how that goes, I know Richard is terribly busy today, so I'll try and stay out of his way, other to get that done. We'll figure something out. Okay, I just took theTHESPARK.COM's personality test and this is what it said:

William Like just 5% of the population you are a POLITICIAN (DEAT)(Dominant Extrovert Abstract Thinker )--forceful, outgoing, and forward-looking. You are strong-willed and extroverted, so you enjoy interacting with other people. You aggressively pursue your goals. Your creative style of thinking allows you to come up with unusual arguments and original ideas that appeal to others, but behind it all is an analytical mind that never forgets the bottom line. While some might see you as manipulative, your close friends know you are a talented person who deserves the best in life. Whatever. You *are* manipulative. Whether you use your power for "good" or "bad", it's up to you. If you're confused what good or bad means, ask a HEALER. Like EXPERIMENTERS, you have a propensity for cheating.
CHEATING...I don't think I cheat at all...I've never cheated in school! Dammit!!

Well, this is good, we've solved the Charlie check problem, everything always gets so screwed up when is concerned. Well anyway, Charlie got the check today before we got a chance to cancel the cashier's check, apparently I put the address on the wrong side of the label, or not on the wrong side, but the wrong location. But who cares, he got the check, so we're all good. Another thing that is fabulous is that I called Springfield, and talked to a person there who said that they got the check for the payment on the ticket from Circuit Court and they are going to send me a receipt. Fuckers.

From: Sullivan, Michael"
To:'William Rosen'
Subject: Good News
Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 17:43:00 -0500
MIME-Version: 1.0 Received: from [] by (3.2) with ESMTP id MHotMailBC55A6D90076D820F3D10C10096409E40; Thu Feb 15 14:44:42 2001 Received: from ([]) by SMTP1 (NAVIEG 2.1 bld 63) with SMTP id M2001021517445502024 for ; Thu, 15 Feb 2001 17:44:56 -0500 Received: by with Internet Mail Service (5.5.2653.19)id <15JJDVT2>; Thu, 15 Feb 2001 17:44:33 -0500 From _______@_______Thu Feb 15 14:45:41 2001 Message-ID: Return-Receipt-To: "Sullivan, Michael" <_______@__________> X-Mailer: Internet Mail Service (5.5.2653.19) View E-mail Message Source Reply Reply All Forward Delete Previous Next Close Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"

Hey Bill,
Thanks for sharing your web page with me. You are really sharp. That's the best web page I've seen. Shelley Galbol just called from Shook Hard & Bacon. She said your background check was fine, and she does want you to start on Monday, February 26th. On your first day, go in at 12:30pm. After your first day, you will work their regular shift which is 8:30am to 5pm. They work a 37.5 hour week, but overtime is usually available; you just have to get approval if you want to work overtime. For this administrative assistant position we are able to pay ___/hour. You will be Spherion's employee for at least 450 hours, or approximately 12 weeks. Then you will apply to become a permanent employee of Shook. It isn't always exactly 12 weeks. We just had a woman who was there for 18 weeks before she got a permanent job offer. Let me know if you need health insurance. Spherion has insurance available for temporary employees. You might want to check out Shook's website, it'sShook will soon break ground for their new world headquarters office building which will be next to Crown Center, or 25th and Grand.
Do you know if Richard is planning to come by today to pick up your check? I usually leave at 5pm, but there should be someone here until 5:30.
Talk to you soon. -Mike I GOT A JOB FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, February 14, 2001

2/14/01 Well the Valentine's Day concert at the Villa was wonderful. Terri Wilder was the singer, and she was unbelieveable. Elsa came and picked me up, and we went to the store because she needed to get some roses for her table presentation, so we went to the one in Westport. We split a bouqet of these wonderful red roses, and I gave about 7 of them to Richard, and he was quite suprised by them, and then at the end of the evening, he gave me a bunch of roses too! So now we have a bunch of roses on the kitchen table. Couldn't be more fabulous than that. I woke up this morning and Richard was gone, so I assume he's out doing errands or something, who knows. It says on his schedule that he has a rehersal at 1pm, with Cathy Horton, so I assume that maybe he just got an early start with that. I missed rehersal last night with the chorus but that's okay, you get to miss 3-4 rehersals during the prep period as they call it. That reminds me I'm going to have to pay them some jack before I can sing in that concert. I totally forgot about that concept. Well, I just talked with Richard, and he said that there was some "concern" about the tip jar that Dave and I had last night, and I told him that he and I split the \\$16 that was in it, at the end of the night, so whomever had a problem with that, can know that we made a whopping total of eight dollars. Money always causes the biggest problems, I tell ya, what a bunch of crap, that's what I say. What's the big deal about having a tip jar? Anyway, I'll just get off that subject before I start having a baby. Heidi Mattingly called me this morning and gave me an offer from a law firm that is located she said by the K.C. Board of Trade, which is by the plaza. So I told her to go ahead and send my resume down to them, she said that they're pretty good about getting back to her, so I should know soon what that's all about. The other person who called was Mindy(My mother who sacrificed her life for me) We got a message last night that she called, and I will call her back right now! I just got a chance to watch my favorite show, the West Wing, and it was supremely fabulous. Richard's friend Kathleen came over, and we all watched it together. It was an episode about theDEAagents that got captured in Columbia, and they tried to make a mission to go and get the soldiers that were captured back, but they had false intelligence, and nine of the soldiers died. Just fabulous T.V., I know it's just a show, but it's a damm good one.Here's the episode description:
After his State of the Union speech, Bartlet boldly green lights a daring military mission to rescue five federal drug agents taken hostage by Colombian terrorist commandos -- until complications arise. And Toby is confronted by an angry, liberal senator who threatens to launch a third-party run for president. Elsewhere, a frustrated Josh tries to conduct a poll to sample reaction to the speech which he hopes will provide support for a new gun protection law.