Thursday, June 20, 2002

love welcomes all

Love welcomes all

Well I haven't had a chance to update and I don't have much time, but I plan on attending the candelight vigil tomorrow on the plaza for the protest of theconference that is coming to Liberty, MO. I love being political, and this is a way that I can do it in a loving environment and add my positivity to the situation. Go to the website and check it out, it really is a great cause. Steven Sanders is a good friend of mine from the chorus, and I just read this from it:
Prayer for Social and Spiritual Justice
by Steve Sanders

I pray that the children of misinformed adults be fortified with resilience and strength and know God's love for them is pure.

May the homophobia instilled in the hearts and minds of the "Love Won Out"participants be tempered by the sanity provided from God herself.

May the innocent children of the conference participants forgive their misguided adult protectors.

May the community of adults entrusted with their sacred responsibility to raise children, be composed of sane headed family members that are unwilling to allow the conference attending mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, uncles, brothers or sisters to inflict any spiritual pain in the hearts and minds of innocent straight or gay child, as a result of an over reaction to this conference.

Mother God, we pray for peace. Mother God, we pray for wisdom that surpasses all understanding. Mother God, we pray for open mindedness, we pray for enlightenment, we pray for the misguided souls.

Mother God, we acknowledge that evil exists on our planet. We acknowledge our humanity and how some among us prey on the real and imagined fears of well intended people. May those that prey on other's fears be given a limited voice in our community. May their intimidation, shame and guilt ultimately be surpassed by the power of love and acceptance.

Mother God, we pray for the children that are cast out from their birth families because of the misguided teachings of "Love Won Out." May they quickly be led to a community where they can belong and discover their unique expression of self that had them be placed on this planet.

Mother God, we thank you for the wealth of community resources that are available in the Kansas City Metropolitan Area to deal with the fallout from this conference. 
Specifically we name:

Lesbian & Gay Community Center of Greater Kansas City
Passages, GLBT Youth Organization
The Good Samaritan Project
The Community of Open and Affirming Churches
The Pitch Weekly

Protect the leaders, staff, and volunteers as we all join to engage our special talents and gifts to communicate a message of inclusion, acceptanceand love. May our voices win freedom. May our struggle for justice unite us.

Tuesday, June 18, 2002

more chorus pictures from the show!

more chorus pictures from the show!
Why play a game that's no longer necessary? Head straight to the prize table and claim your trophy. Libra often strives for equality, but now that the Moon is in your Sign, you're obviously superior.
I took some pictures from these albums and put them on my own directory here, because I simply didn't want all of the pics. 

Just had lunch with my friend Jeff at Chipotle and I'm off to do some running around and take care of some things that I need to get done. Then, if I haven't spent enough time with the chorus people this will be the end (until my fabulous party) of it...there is a membership dinner tonight at 6pm, at Holy Trinity, where we rehearse. NO SINGING TONIGHT PUHLEASE!

This burns me up.....Think we live in a free and democratic society? Think again. Our dumbfuck president was scheduled to speak at the commencement ceremony of Ohio State University on June 14th, and there were students that wanted to silently protest his visit by turning their back to him while he spoke. They were told that if they did not give the 'appointed' president a 'thunderous ovation', that they would be expelled. Read it yourself. The guy that wrote it got escorted out of the stadium for turning his back on the President while he was speaking. I can't think of a better way to non-violently protest against a dumbfuck (who isn't even supposed to be the) President. I want to move to Canada. This makes me sick to my stomach. The scary thing is, if you don't agree with me, if you don't believe it because you won't read it for yourself, that's fine...but it's still true. Our freedoms are erroding by the second in this country. Privacy? Civil liberties? What are those? I'm not the only one who feels this way

Monday, June 17, 2002

A lil Heathen for that ass

A lil Heathen for that ass

hea·then (h th n)
n. pl. hea·thens or heathen 

1. One who adheres to the religion of a people or nation that does not acknowledge the God of Judaism, Christianity, or Islam. 

2. Such persons considered as a group; the unconverted. 

3. One who is regarded as irreligious, uncivilized, or unenlightened. 

4. Such persons considered as a group. 

Before I can even get into how much I love David Bowie, let me just refer you to a couple of places. First, the horrific christian based local newspaper here in kc reviewed this new album, and actually did an interview with Bowie himself....that's here, and let me say also that I agree with everything he says. Copywright is a joke even now, and there is no reason to believe that copywright enforcement is going to get any better, especially when you don't have to buy cd's anymore, you can simply download them from a free service, or better yet...don't even go there...just get them from me, and then listen to them from your portable mp3 player, or convert them into whatever format you want. My favorites? Well I haven't gotten a chance to listen to the entire thing, but I really love the sound of the first track Sunday, it's like he's announcing to the world that he's back, and there is nothing that stays the same except change. Must I keep on reminding you that I have loved David Bowie ever since I saw him live at the Aaragon Ballroom in Chicago? Oh dear god...the sweat and excitement from that show still hasn't worn off. I'm sure Dayvid still has his glitter from the show that Bowie threw at him.

Okay, on a more personal note the concert was this weekend and it went really well. We received a standing ovation both on Friday and Saturday. There is nothing better than an entire theater of people standing on their feet and applauding. Nothing can compare to that feeling. All the bullshit that came before dissolves and you just stand there and smile, and soak it in. I don't know how to describe it. 

I spent the night over at Scott's house last night, because he is leaving for the week, and will return on Saturday morning. This will be the longest time that we've spent apart since we've been together. We had to get up at 4:15am in order for him to drop me off at my house, and get to the airport and catch at flight at 6:00am. Scotty gave me an envelope right before I got out of his truck, and while I won't say what was written in the card, the front of the card was a quote by Maya Angelou:

Look at my life. 
I'm floating like mercury around the earth.
My footprints shine with stardust. 
All because I love you. 
All because you love me.

Oh dear god.

Sunday, June 16, 2002

Don't have time to update, but I will later tonight or perhaps later, but the weekend was the concert weekend, Scotty and I are about to take off for the second performance after going and hearing Bukeka Shoals at Unity this morning, and then going to the Classic Cookie for a fabulous brunch with all the church boys, and meeting these two lesbians who I just adored, I offered to sing at their wedding that they are having in September, and they agreed! So now I have to burn some cd's of sample music of some stuff that I could sing, and then meet them to discuss. Talked to my dad this morning before church, and they were 6 miles out on Lake Michigan on the boat with my brothers. Love it. 

Trey Miller is SO GAY! He emailed me this and I told him at the bar that I would put this in my journal for him to check out:

Mr. Rosen -
Trey here.
We exchanged subtleties at the bah tonight. Just wanted to write since you said you'd give me a little shout-out on Obviously I can't provide the in-depth proclivities of Scott from Rhode Island. But, maybe you can mention how your board is helping to inspire Log Cabin Republicans like me make their way into the more advanced-thought directions of the Stonewall Democrats. Right now the increments are more baby steps than great strides, but I'm progressing. Anyway....I'm off to bed so I can be geared up to go To Oz and Beyond tomorrow. BTW - I'm so looking forward to attending your party. Someone tonight told me what I was supposed to bring (besides booze, of course), but I'd be curious if you knew what that was. TTYL,
Trey Miller 

And then Dayvid sent me this hysterical bit from Billboard Magazine, about one of my favorite artists.
Billboard Magazine 
From issue dated September 08, 2001 

If you're looking for human weakness, it's easily located anywhere, but if strength is what you're seeking, it can only be found within. It seems it's never too late to learn such lessons. Consider, for instance, a recent impromptu face-off in a Santa Monica, Calif., cafe between an older artist of heart and mind and a young musician in danger of losing such vital faculties. 

"There was one table available at the back," the female artist recalls of the encounter in the restaurant, "right next to what looked to be a rock'n'roller and his manager. It turned out to be a rock'n'roller and his A&R man. I had to sit close to them, and here's this kid in punk drag, tatooed, with dog bracelets on his wrists and around his neck, and his hair is spray-netted up. Basically, he's a Midwestern nerd who's become a yuppie. He's talking to the A&R guy, and his band is broken up, and he's trying to come up with something new. He says he didn't like the band 'sonically,' but all his considerations are to the fan bloc. He sounded like an accountant. There's barely enough room between us for the waiter to set my coffee down at my table," the woman artist continues, "so I can't help but overhear this kid, who's at a crossroads here, and the other guy was encouraging him to be inspired. I finally had enough." 

So she impulsively entered what had previously been a two-man talk by addressing some off-the-cuff remarks to the yuppie punk. "I called him on his lack of originality," she says, also telling him "that he was in this rock'n'roll costume that had nothing to do with who he was, but he didn't have the courage of his own individuality. I said he had disguised himself and didn't really like the music he was making. I said, 'Do you want to be an artist or a star? I can answer that question by just looking at you -- you'll do anything to fit. And the considerations that you're making guarantee that you're gonna be feeding the gristmill with more of this crap.' 

"He said, 'Well, I don't want to wake up broke at 48. It's good to have some business sense.' I said, 'Yeah, it's good to have some business sense after, but not at the point when you're making your art. Mr. A&R here is more of an artist than you are. Do you know how great it is to be told by your record company to be experimental? And you didn't even respond correctly to that. You go right back into your business head! [She laughs] Are you crazy?' 

"He said, 'Look, rock'n'roll is supposed to be dumb.' I said, 'Huh? Chuck Berry wasn't dumb, Bob Dylan's rock wasn't dumb. Hardly anybody else can reach such high standards. But at least try. Otherwise, when you wake up with little money in your pocket at 48 and you look at the dumb work, you'll have spent your whole life making shit while there's been spikes sticking out of you -- all of which isn't you at all.' 

"He said, 'You hate me!' [She laughs] I said, 'I don't hate you. I hate the music that's on the radio, because there's no muse to it -- it's just ick!' "He said, 'Why are you judging me so harshly? Who are you to judge me?' I said, 'That's what I hear from your generation all the time: 'Who are you to judge me?' The trouble is that nobody judged you, nobody told you how to judge your own work and judge yourself. You don't know how to think for yourself.' 

"He said, 'You don't how I am. You don't know my work.' I said, 'I'm sitting next to your table, listening to how your head works. I don't even have to hear your musical work to know that if you're the fountainhead, then it's more of this crap. And you don't know who I am!' 

"Then they both went, in unison, [glumly] 'Yes, we do.' And I went, 'Oh.' I thought I was just this anonymous granny, like, attacking [She laughs]." For the record, the 57-year-old artist on the offensive was and is Joni Mitchell, recounting another afternoon spent as a free woman in Los Angeles

Friday, June 14, 2002

namaste, brother

namaste, brother

When I stop and think about my life and how blessed I am, it brings me to tears. I have been struggling of sorts, but I know that when I am down, my whole experience reflects it and I choose to no longer reflect those types of thoughts in my experience. In the spirit of Jhames, I offer up a wonderful mantra that I've used with Schicky baby, and I've tried to pass along to as many people as possible.
My negativity has outlasted its usefullness
I send love to:
Jhames for starting this love fest
my wonderfully supportive family
you know who you are
Yvette and Leila for being my friends
Scotty for being a wonderful man that loves me unconditionally, without reservation.
and finally to God for giving me a talent to praise God with my voice....and because it's all about the Wizard of Oz, but more specifically Harold Arlen this weekend...I give you this mantra
namaste, brother.
oh my god....this is truly amazing. not ONE MINUTE after I posted this journal entry about love, and positivity, this happens:

neelyo1965: Of course you have no idea of who I am but by "fate" I stumbled onto your website and saw your inspiring and shall I say timely mantra.
ohthebill: who is this?
neelyo1965: Thanks alot - 
ohthebill: absolutely......
neelyo1965: someone from RI
ohthebill: do you know jhames?
neelyo1965: no
ohthebill: oh my're totally serious? totally random?
neelyo1965: yup
ohthebill: fucking amazing
neelyo1965: sometimes really weird things just happen...
ohthebill: i am copying this im session into my journal....BTW I LOVE YOU
ohthebill: whoever you are
neelyo1965: sweet
neelyo1965: the last year has been REAL shitty and I really needed to read that today
neelyo1965: & believe it
ohthebill: completely....we just decided to start doing more positive stuff...and I JUST FTP'd that up on the site...not five minutes ago
ohthebill: literally
neelyo1965: well I guess its my 15 minutes finally
neelyo1965: streaking accross the vast internet
ohthebill: you're amazing....that's so cool....
ohthebill: it's ok to copy this onto the journal?
neelyo1965: hardly but thank you
neelyo1965: yes
ohthebill: rhode island eh? so how did you stumble onto the site?
neelyo1965: actually I mistyped and got it in error but explored
neelyo1965: quite good
ohthebill: astounding
neelyo1965: scary, huh?
ohthebill: im speechless....still
ohthebill: and that NEVER happens LOL
neelyo1965: now now
ohthebill: well you've made it onto my journal for today...this much I know for sure
ohthebill: check back after we get done talking
neelyo1965: keep my IM name in your buddy list
ohthebill: done
neelyo1965: RI is quite like the valley of the dolls .....
ohthebill: it seriously shocked me....i wasn't even going to answer your im, because you know how it is, i always get im'd by ads....
neelyo1965: understood
neelyo1965: i probably wouldn't have either
ohthebill: but it said you didnt have a 'warning level' so i thought "oh what the hell"
neelyo1965: ever read "the Zen of OZ"
ohthebill: are you a boy/girl? age? what do you do? what are you all about? Now I'm obsessed! lol
neelyo1965: spiritual lessons from the Wizard of OZ
ohthebill: no i've read the zen of pooh....
ohthebill: we're doing the zen of oz in 13's actually quite hysterical
neelyo1965: haven't been a boy in years ( now 37)
neelyo1965: my life could be a very bad lifetime movie of the week
neelyo1965: if your actually interested - 
neelyo1965: better to get it in small doses
ohthebill: now what about that 'negativity has outlasted its usefullness' now?
ohthebill: hee
ohthebill: im totally interested
neelyo1965: well I just read it
ohthebill: HA!
neelyo1965: i need time to actually believe it
ohthebill: keep on saying it to yourslef, put it in the first person, it helps alot
neelyo1965: it's gay pride here in Providence tomorrow
neelyo1965: & its going to pour
ohthebill: naturally
neelyo1965: but rain brings rainbows
neelyo1965: i guess
neelyo1965: now i sound like an old Eagles song.....
neelyo1965: desperado
neelyo1965: ;-)
ohthebill: you're gay?
neelyo1965: yup
ohthebill: wow, cool.....who knew.....
neelyo1965: i've known since 13
neelyo1965: HA
ohthebill: are you attached? let's see some pictures now! LOL
neelyo1965: no attachments
ohthebill: ill put them on my my new friend from rhode island
neelyo1965: well I'll have to delve into your site and get the 411 on ya
ohthebill: u have a pic of yourself?
neelyo1965: could take weeks....
neelyo1965: possibly
neelyo1965: more mysterious this way though
ohthebill: i just took three pics of myself for that journal entry....
ohthebill: im still totally just made my day
neelyo1965: really?
neelyo1965: really really
ohthebill: hand to god
neelyo1965: thats a big arm
ohthebill: and this whole thing is SO on my journal, in testament to the whole concept
neelyo1965: spooky
ohthebill: completely spooky
ohthebill: are you going to pride?
neelyo1965: yup
neelyo1965: working it
neelyo1965: I film a local drag queen
neelyo1965: for a cable access show
neelyo1965: i also edit the shows
ohthebill: yer a filmmaker eh? right on....we just had ours last weekend
neelyo1965: &?
ohthebill: the parade was a bit dismal, but they had a festival in downtown kc, and that was fun
ohthebill: ran into some friends i hadn't seen in a while
neelyo1965: tomorrow will be quite lame
neelyo1965: this is the smallest state
neelyo1965: but Jennifer Holiday is singing at 730P
neelyo1965: We have an interview with her 
ohthebill: believe me, it cant be any worse than kc....the parade was like six blocks...oh my god i LOOOOVE her
neelyo1965: later at her hotel
ohthebill: "AND I AM TELLING YOU"
ohthebill: *sings*
neelyo1965: but I AM going
ohthebill: rock on brother
neelyo1965: I'll send ya a pix of her
ohthebill: oh my god...i'll put them on my journal!!!
neelyo1965: I'm taking 35mm shots too
ohthebill: u know who rufus wainwright is?
neelyo1965: sure do
ohthebill wants to directly connect. 
neelyo1965 is now directly connected. 
neelyo1965: i know you're quite fond of him
ohthebill: HERE! ohthebill: huge pic.....sorry bout that
neelyo1965: o my
neelyo1965: thank god for cable modems
ohthebill: lol
ohthebill: right?
neelyo1965: that pix could have taken all night 
neelyo1965: where was that pic taken?
ohthebill: in a bar...after the show
neelyo1965: OIC
ohthebill: in lawrence, kansas
neelyo1965: one step down from LA
ohthebill: just a hop skip and a jump
neelyo1965: I'm sure you're busy....
neelyo1965: so
neelyo1965: don't want to monopolize ya
ohthebill: not at all
neelyo1965: my name is Scott ( by the way)
ohthebill: BILL!
neelyo1965: i know
ohthebill: so cool....well it was totally cool to meet've totally made my day
neelyo1965: keep in touch if ya see my online
neelyo1965: i'll send u some pics from tomorrow
ohthebill: right on, and look for our conversation in about ten minutes....i have to edit the color and stuff, might take a bit...
neelyo1965: k
ohthebill: you're amazing!
neelyo1965: stop
ohthebill: i'm serious
neelyo1965: well 
neelyo1965: what can i
neelyo1965: say
ohthebill: you just bounced back the love that i was talking an amazing way...
neelyo1965: thats very nice of u to say
neelyo1965: like I said 
ohthebill: im utterly serious
neelyo1965: been nuts around here lately
neelyo1965: life is just so overwhelming sometimes
ohthebill: keep your chin up...dont worry about anything and keep on saying that mantra! IT HELPS!
neelyo1965: i just need to remember whats important
neelyo1965: rejoice in the way things are
neelyo1965: be content with what u have
ohthebill: i've been totally struggling lately too, monitarily, emotionally, spiritually...but things like this help so rejuvinate us
neelyo1965: always someone worse off
ohthebill: right on
ohthebill: you're amazing!
neelyo1965: i understand completely
neelyo1965: topic change
neelyo1965: did u see star wars?
ohthebill: LOL
neelyo1965: yoda rocks
ohthebill: he was amazing....
neelyo1965: if he was just taller......
neelyo1965: and younger....
neelyo1965: and not green
ohthebill: lol
ohthebill: i am telling my bf all about you and this experience
neelyo1965: yikes
ohthebill: hes coming over
neelyo1965: going out this fine evening?
ohthebill: he and i...and yes were going out to dinner, and then out to the bah
neelyo1965: it is the weekend
neelyo1965: that time is it where u are?
ohthebill: and it's gorgeous weather here, and it's friday night
ohthebill: what?
neelyo1965: are u an hour behind me?
ohthebill: its just approaching 6pm here....
neelyo1965: its 730 here
ohthebill: so an hour and a half? thats odd
neelyo1965: u sure its not 630P
ohthebill: oh no, it's six 30, my computer clock is wrong
neelyo1965: OIC
neelyo1965: hmmmmmm
neelyo1965: tying shoes is tomorrows lesson
ohthebill: ah...yes....
ohthebill: i learned how to tie my shoes left handed when i was younger because my mom is left handed
neelyo1965: are u now right handed?
ohthebill: Yes.....the only person that is left handed is my oldest sister,..........i am still floored by this whole thing
neelyo1965: y - i believe everyone meets for a reason
neelyo1965: we're all students & teachers
ohthebill: just amazing.....
ohthebill: ok scotty is here....imma gonna take off, but it was AMAZING to meet you
neelyo1965: hope we talk again
ohthebill: we WILL
neelyo1965: b
neelyo1965: i'll find a pic 4 ya
neelyo1965: WITH clothes
neelyo1965: just kidding
ohthebill: check back for the journal, and when you send pics of j.holliday\
neelyo1965: k
neelyo1965: have fun tonight
ohthebill: you too
ohthebill: talk to you later Scott
neelyo1965: nite
ohthebill: namaste!

Thursday, June 13, 2002

So I have to eat my words from yesterday because I really loved the rehearsal last night. For some reason, I came out of the Folly with a great feeling that the show was going to be great. It's not the most challenging show, or the most challenging music, but it's just fun. Wizard of Oz in 13 minutes, you can't beat it. And our guest none other than Bukeka Shoals, who is a goddess of the universe. Ticket sales are apparently doing well, and they are going to make an announcement about the "Too Poor for Europe" party tonight at dress rehearsal. I got this quote from my sistah, and I thought I would share it:
There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you want to pick them from your dreams and hug them. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy. Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Happiness lives for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. Love begins with a smile, grows with kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgiven past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying........

From Scotty's website (I laughed so hard when I read this)
In the morning, I got up and got ready for work. I woke Bill so that I could take him home. He was still dreaming when I started to wake him. He asked me if I thought the view was nice. I asked him what view he was talking about. Sleepily he responded “the view from up there on the veranda.” “The veranda? What veranda?” “Up there, where the tenor ones are.” Ok so he wasn’t awake yet. “Baby, Its time to get up so I can take you home.” He jerked awake. I giggled a bit at him and told him what had just happened. 

HAHAHAHAH! Oh well....i never said i was very coherent. that just slays me. I'll probably have more to offer later, but in the spirit of this saturday and sunday's show... listen to this and remember that we are doing Wizard of Oz in 13 minutes. This is brilliant too...another Harold Arlen tune. Good ol Harold.

Wednesday, June 12, 2002

There's only so much you can do. The law seems to favor less-deserving people these days. Take accurate measurements, collect relevant data and patiently await your turn to use it all.

Not much to report today. I have tech rehearsal tonight, dress rehearsal on Thursday, and then the show on Saturday and Sunday. I'll be very glad to get this show over, it's what most of the people in the chorus call a 'throw away show', every once in a while you have to do a show for the audience alone...and this one will be really popular with the general public. Wizard of Oz in 15 minutes, plus Harold Arlen tunes "I've Got the World on a String", "Come Rain or Come Shine", "Hit the Road to Dreamland", etc. Even though I believe that the chorus is really prepared for this show, probably more than any other recent shows, it's still a throw away show, and not much fun to sing. Hopefully I'll change my attitude about it when we get to the Folly, the shows always come together when we get there. Ah well, since I won't be at Sprint, I have to push on to find something else. There is a job out there for me, I simply need to find it.

Tuesday, June 11, 2002

I had a great day today for some reason. Scotty stayed the night last night, and there is nothing I love more than to have him in my bed when we both get up from sleeping. It's such a wonderful thing, it's hard to communicate it through this journal. He left early and I stayed in bed for a little bit but not for too much longer after he left. I got up, made some coffee with my handy dandy french press, and got ready for my day, and the big interview. I was wondering how the car was going to handle driving all the way from Midtown to O.P., but it did fine and I was happy that it made it. Interview went well, but I hate to even get even a little excited about it, because I just don't, so if everything pans out with that, I'll be at Sprint again, but if not, then it's all about the experience. I thought they should hire me, nevertheless. Got home, and did some laundry and tried to avoid the obnoxious heat and humidity of the day, but completely failed in that endeavour, so I put on the air conditioning for a while, but then turned it off after a while because I don't want the electricity bill's to get outlandishly out of control, so I have to curb the air conditioning usage. Also found a version of that song from church that threw me for a loop. Just imagine that song with a beautiful solo baritone singing it, it just pulled me over the top for some reason.

Scotty and I were on the phone with Leila last night, and I inquired whether she wanted me to burn another cd for her (to bring the total to 3, the 1. Leila's Rochester NY Extravaganza Experience, and 2. Leila's Rochester NY Extravaganza Experience Ver_2.0), so she was mentioning what artists she wanted. Rufus Wainwright, Stevie Wonder, Melissa Ethridge singing "Maggie May", and Scotty said "Well, for all the people that you just mentioned, they are all blind or gay".....and as astute as that observation was, he was absolutely in that vain I offer this to my forbidden lover:
Leila's Gay Blind Extravaganza Experience
1. 20th Century Fox Fanfare - John Williams (for the effect of it)
2. Stevie Wonder and various artists - We Are The World (not neccessarily blind or gay, but I thought it was hysterical, nonetheless)
3. The City of New York vs. Homer - The Simpsons (funny cuz they mention Liza....."they're strapping down Liza Minelli!")
4. Free - Stevie Wonder (blind)
5. Don't Go Breakin My Heart - Elton John & Kiki Dee (oh so gay)
6. Bewitched, Bothered And Bewildered - Diane Schuur (blind as a bat)
7. Poses - Rufus Wainwright (gayer than Elton John)
8. Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters - Elton John (gay since 1930)
9. The Magdalene Laundries - Joni Mitchell and The Chieftans (not blind, but might as well be gay)
10. No One Is Alone - Into the Woods Original Cast Recording (Steven Sondheim wrote it..queer as a three dollar bill)
11. Prayer for the Children - Twin Cities Gay Mens Chorus (twin city what chorus?)
12. Maggie May - Melissa Ethridge (live and gay)
13. How Come How Long - Stevie Wonder and Babyface (blind since birth)
14. He Ain't Heavy...He's My Brother - Rufus Wainwright (did I show you the pics from the concert yet?)
15. Everytime We Say Goodbye - Ray Charles and Betty Carter (blind and still alive)
16. Goodbye - Elton John (have you heard of the Queen's Jubilee?)
Don't forget boys and girls, that this Saturday and Sunday is the big show...come on down

oh yeah, i almost forgot that what's his name is gonna be in town later this afternoon. i wish i could protest him, but i have things to do...he's not worth it.

my brother michael sent his fashion statement of the day. he's on the right. they went with someone else for the position. welcome to my life. square one here i come.

i'm moving to canada. i realize that's silly but when you get news such as pisses me off; my legislators refuse to even bring up a hate crimes bill for consideration on the senate floor. this just boils my blood. i won't start ranting about it, but after years and years of struggle, why is this so diffcult for republicans to understand. oh that's right, they're republicans. i can't understand why people don't realize that the numbers of hate crimes against gay and lesbian americans continues to rise every single year, don't believe me; read this 

Sunday, June 9, 2002

Diversity brings you a wide range of happy choices. You make new friends through a shared experience. A deep current rises to the surface, pointing the way for all who can see it.

Well sheesh, how to begin with the pride weekend. Friday night Scotty and I went to the parade, and marched with the chorus boys. To tell you the truth, I liked it, but I didn't like it. I always like being involved with the parade, but it just seems so dismal in comparison to all the other parades and fesitvals that I have attended. The route was 5 blocks, and at points there were no people lining the streets. It was just sort of odd on the back of a flatbed truck rolling through the city with no people cheering us on. I mean in Westport there were tons of people, but then towards the latter part of the route, none. So Friday night we went to the festival and saw Jody Watley perform. Now I realize that it was a 'retro dance party' but Jody Watley just wasn't what I was looking for. She looked great though, I must say. After the festivities were done at Barney Ellis Plaza, we went out to the Dixie Belle, and it was fun in the beginning, but then the masses started coming out and it took a half an hour just to get a drink, it ws truly obnoxious. Scotty and I ran into a friend of his that he worked with years ago and we (Darren and his weird boyfriend) and Scotty and I wound up all going back to my place for a small after party, hosted by yours truly. Saturday it was all about errands, we went to a little diner for breakfast/lunch (after getting up at 1pm), Scott got a haircut, and we went back downtown to the festival and it was crazy hot, so we could only handle it for so long. Ran into Lisa Hopkins, who I was shocked to have seen. Long story there, but it seemed to be a positive meeting, and one of reconcilliation on both of our parts. The only thing of note from the festival performers were the drag queens, and for the love of liza, I love drag queens, but Kansas City has some pitiful excuses for drag queens. The only one worth mentioning was the one who did a really Marylin Manson's version of "Tainted Love", she walked on the stage with a huge cross with long chains to her arms, and was just hot! You just had to give it up to her for orginality. Saturday night we didn't do much, but Scotty cooked a wonderful meal at my place. We had some great steaks marinated with rosemary and olive oil, white corn and for dessert fudge brownies! My friend Andy came over towards the latter part of the evening, and hung out with us on the front porch, enjoying the wonderful summer breeze. This morning we woke up relatively early and did Unity, they had this wonderful baritone singer who did "No One is Alone" from "Into the Woods", and brought me literally to tears. Out to lunch with the church fags, and then back here to enjoy a rainy, lazy Sunday afternoon. I have an interview tomorrow at Sprint, which I am excited about, then rehearsal on Tuesday and the countdown to Chicago has begun. 18 days!

Friday, June 7, 2002

The road is bitter, the stars have lost their glitter

The road is bitter, the stars have lost their glitter

So last night I went out with Scott, Schick, and Cooper (who's this wonderful woman, she's a playwright and an author, and a mother of two daughters). So we went to this comedy club because Cooper's daughter was going to be the headliner. She was hysterical, and it was a great time. The minor comediannes did their thing and then the major comedian came up and did his thing, he was hysterical. After the show because Schicky was there, we took pictures with all the people, and then went out to this little piano bar on 87th and Wornall called "The Piano Room". I had been there before for Lea Lavish's birthday celebration, but they have completely re-vamped the place from a little dive-bar to a cute little piano bar. So this guy was here, and could you possibly be any more gay? He was really nice though, and Diane and Marcia (Schick and Cooper) insisted that I sing a song, (yeah right Bill, like anyone has to do any insisting when there's a microphone involved), so at first I sang "Piano Man", and then there was this weird guy that make weird noises with a dollar bill (it's Missouri, people) so I asked him if he knew "The Man That Got Away" and he said he did, but he didn't know any of the Marcia and I had to recall all the words, I had to write them all down on peice of paper, and now that I listen to it, right before the second verse, there's a whole section I missed HAHAHAH!! Ah well, it's all good it's all about The Man that Got Away, he turned it into sort of a polka, and as you can hear, it's not supposed to have any up-temp beat, it's a real lazy, jazz kinda song, but we did it sort of polka, up-tempo. So hysterical, Marcia loved it, we dedicated all the songs to her because it was her birthday today.

Oh yeah, it's the dismal gay pride parade here in Kansas City tonight. Weird enough that they have the parade on a friday but at 6pm, after everybody gets off of work and is all tired and cranky from a long day? What's up with that?

You're gonna die! Okay, our neighbors have this cat that they don't feed and don't take care of, so I, being the animal lover that I am, have taken it upon myself to feed the cat, and put a bowl of cat food on our front porch because when you go up to her and feel her, she is complete skin and bones....we affectionately call her Momma. So the momma had like 7 kittens about four months ago, that now have turned to into toddlers and the neighbors not only do not feed the cats, but they don't allow them in their house either, so now Momma is roaming around the neighborhood. What's going to happen when a female cat that isn't fixed roams around the neighborhood with dominant male cats roaming around too? That's right, other kittens. Momma just had four little gorgeous kittens that have hardlyopened their eyes yet. They are so beautiful, it's a wonder how people neglect them. If you're wondering how big they are, try smaller than a mousepad. Stay tuned for the continuing saga of Momma and her kittens, because they are too beautiful of subjects not to be photographed. By the way, if you need a gorgeous little kitty, let me know, and we'll arrange it. I would rather have the kittens be with a friend of mine who I know will take care of them, rather than some horrible, neglectful neighbor.

Oh, and guess who has an interview on Monday at Sprint? *cue music*

Wednesday, June 5, 2002

What a republican jerkoff. When you read this letter that follows, you want to believe that he's going for federal hate crimes protection, but then he bursts the bubble right at the last second. Guess I shouldn't have expected anything from a dumbfuck rebpulican. 
June 5, 2002

Mr. William Rosen
Dear Mr. Rosen:

Thank you for sharing your thoughts regarding federal hate crimes. I appreciate your insight into this complex legal issue.

Senator Edward Kennedy (D-MA) introduced S. 625, the Local Law Enforcement Enhancement Act of 2001, the most recent legislative proposal concerning hate crimes, in March. This measure outlaws hate crimes committed on the basis of race, color, religion, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, or disability. The bill also establishes a grant program for local law enforcement agencies and instructs the Justice Department to assist states in prosecuting hate crimes. S. 625 has been referred to the Senate Judiciary Committee for further consideration.

I am opposed to all forms of discrimination and support law enforcement agencies that aggressively prosecute violent offenders. However, before enacting new hate crimes legislation, we must be cautious in giving preferential treatment to select classes of victims. Every American is entitled to equal justice regardless of personal characteristics.

Again, thank you for taking the time to contact me with your thoughts on this matter. I look forward to your advice and counsel.

With every best wish,

Pat Roberts

The insomnia has crept back up and I literally have not slept in two days. Scott came over last night after rehearsal and we watched t.v. for a while, and then went to bed and I was perfectly awake. I think that I have been worrying about things too much, and that causes my mind to go on automatic pilot and not allow me to sleep. I am seriously going crazy. I have also confirmed with the social committee chair in the chorus that the Too Poor For Europe party will be an official chorus mixer, for the people who aren't going to Europe. I have two theories on this, one; it can be a great time, all the chorus boys will come over and we'll all have a smashing time, or two; why am I inviting a hundred queens over to my house? I will believe the former of the two conclusions, and operate out of the positive. I've been in sort of a melancholy mood of late, and the only way I can describe it is by music, and even though this has the energy of a breakup song, (Scott and I have never been better) it really gives a good picture of how I've been feeling lately. So much for working from the positive. I try as hard as I can.

Monday, June 3, 2002

So I know that I haven't written anything substantial for the last couple of days, I just haven't had anything substantial to write. I suppose I could recap the weekend though. Friday went to the Spritfestival, and it was wonderful. The organization was tremendous, and a great time was had by all. We were pulling in the people to the margarita stand and cat-calling people up to the stand "AYAYAYAYAYAYAA!!!"....people were scared of us because we were having so much fun. So Scott and I walk around the festival and stop at this great little jewlry shop, and stop and look at their serongs. I have been wanting to get another one, because one can never have too many serongs. I picked out a brilliant red one and Scotty got a masculine blue one. Can I tell you how much I love wearing a serong? It's only my favorite article of clothing! We worked the night and were so tired afterwards. So we finally left and got over to Scotty's house and crashed all with our feet aching, sunburned, and someone being mr cranky-pants, but I love him for it. Saturday didn't do much of anything of note, after doing the Nelson Atkins for a couple of hours, and sitting on the lawn tanning for about a half an hour before we decided that it was too intense, we went back to my place and this is how Scotty described the experience on Saturday:
ohthebill: um what did we do on satuday?
ohthebill: other than go to the dixie belle?
Mscottwall: ate winsteads. met peter and chuck at the gallery. napped
ohthebill: thats RIGHT
Mscottwall: had great sex
Mscottwall: you fucked me then I fucked you.
ohthebill: LOL
ohthebill: i should put that on the journal
Mscottwall: yeah
We went to the DB at 11:30pm, and it was just about as dead as it could be. Stayed there for while, but then left to go back to Scotty's. Sunday was sort of crazy.Went to the service at Unity, then out to lunch with the boys, then we had to sing at an ecumenical service, a sort of interfaith service for the pride peoples. It was a great service, I really enjoyed it. Great speakers, and great music..heee! After that, off to my place, because it was so close to turn the air conditioner back on cuz my roomie is gone till August, and he left the house early and turned everything off. Got the house cooled down a bit, and then went back to Scotty's for dinner with his roomies, and then back to my place for the season finale of Six Feet Under. Loved the episode, just hate the cliffhanger about Nate dammit. On a more personal note, Scott and I just celebrated a three month anniversary on Sunday. I love him more than I have loved any man. It's all about unconditional love that knows no boundaries, limitations, or restrictions, it's unconditional love at its best, and for all the crap that I took whilst in my last relationship, I have a great feeling about this one, that this will be the lasting one. I have told Scott that he is the first man that I have had a relationship with that I feel like I can be myself with. Others have been stiffling, controlling, or just not right. He loves me for him, I love him for him, what else do we need? Lots; honesty, respect and admiration...but we already had all of that. I love him. What else can I say?

P.S. Look for an announcement soon about the Too Poor to Go To Europe with the Chorus party at my house.
Dear god, I've made all the invitations to the Too Poor For Europe Party, and now I have become an online pimp. I give and I give. But go there and mention Jhames, apparently it helps, but he doesn't know how, because he doesnt know how to play the game yet. Logical, right? 
So even though this has all of my personal information, I will post it on here, because I want this party to be a huge success, and have tons of people show up, so take these and pass them out to anyone that lives in Kansas City that you know and trust to show up at my house. Talk about a leap of faith. Not that ANYONE READS MY JOURNAL ANYWAY MISS PLASTICO!

Saturday, June 1, 2002

If you ever doubted your power, worth or direction, the Pisces Moon is here to affirm them. Your imagination brightens a world that's been getting too dark. Raw materials bring you closer to the source.

From HMC:

In the past, we have sent an attached e-ad for you to forward to all your contacts to invite them to our program. Several people have had problems with the size of the attachment.

Now, it's easier than ever -- write a simple message inviting your friends to attend, and include this link in your message:

(just get it here)

This will display our electronic picture invitation, and from there, folks are just one click away from ordering their tickets! Make sure you tell them to mention YOUR NAME when they order, so that we can recognize you.

Let's make this fabulous program the best seller ever!