Wednesday, March 28, 2001

Wednesday

Wednesday-March 28, 2001
Well today was the first day that I drove to work. I don't think that I like it though, because I had to pay to park, and I always hate doing that. It's raining here in KC, and it's one of those cold Spring days that is so cold, it chills you to the bone. Connie just gave me one of her "even out" pills (a Xanex) so I hope that helps with the headache. I just hope that I can concentrate for the rest of the day. Richard just emailed me and told me that the house is being shown at 5:30-6, so we should meet at the house at 6, so I guess I'll just go driving around until 6. That should be fun, I'll go exploring around the city. I gave Connie a recording of the Cantique du Jean Racine, and I told her that was us during my college years. This is the running order of the performance on Saturday and Sunday.

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HEARTLAND MEN'S CHORUS

Spring Concert 2001

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Anything Goes.....................................................Cole Porter
Kansas City (from Oklahoma).............................Richard Rogers Nellie Medley.........................................................Patrick Flanigan

- I'm a Wild and Wooly Son of the West
- Wait 'Till the Sun Shine's Nellie
- My Nelly's Blue Eyes
Old Soft Shoe...............................................................Roy Jordan and Sid Bass
(Chamber Chorus)
TBA
Gershwin Medley.........................................................George Gershwin
Soldier's Chorus (from Faust)....................................Charles Gounod
INTERMISSION
Armed Forces Salute...................................................Bob Lowden
Beautiful Girls (from Follies!).....................................Steven Sondheim
Heartbeat + HMC
Burlesque Medley
- Ya Gotta Have a Gimmick (Heartbeat)
- I Wana Be Bad (Solo + Heartbeat)
- Every Baby Needs A Da-Da-Daddy (Solo + Full Chorus)
- My Heart Belongs to Daddy (Heartbeat + Full Chorus)
In Praise of Women.......................................................Sinozich
I'm Still Here....................................................................Steven Sondheim
Everything's Coming Up Roses...................................S. Sondheim/G. Stein


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So that's the show. It should be a great show, I hope everything comes together these next couple of days. It just seems like it's a little bit crazy, and a little bit disorganized right now, but I'm sure that everything will be fabulous. I can't wait to step onto the stage of the Folly Theater tonight, I love going to the theater for the first time, I was telling Elaine this morning that it's always fun going to Tech and Dress rehearsals because you get to go on the stage for the first time, and it's always a really amazing perspective being the performer, because you ge to see the whole audience. I should invest in a camera, so I can take pictures of the chorus at the theater, and then I also want to take pictures of the view from the 38th floor of this building. I want to try and get one of those panoramic disposable cameras so that I can take the pictures of the view, and I want to try and make it 360 degrees, so that when I display those pictures, it will be a whole, wrap around view. I'll have to figure all of that out when the time comes. I really have nothing more to say at this point, I think this might be the last time I get to update my journal for a while because Pierceis taking the computer back today. I just wish that I could get some sort of access, other than that flipping WebTV. Anyway, if you have any questions, great thoughts, greatquotes, or anything that you would like to contribute to this page, or any other pages on this thing, feel free to let me know and I will be sure to add them. Thank you - and good night!

Tuesday, March 27, 2001

drivers license woes

Richard and I went this morning, and through a series of trials and tribulations, I got a Missouri license. Thank you Jesus. It is so amazing, I have waited for this day to come, and I've said quite publicly that the day that I get my license in Missouri, is the day that we are going to have a big ol party. I've already said to Richard that we need to go out after chorus, and we need to celebrate! After I got my license, we went to AAA and got insurance for the new car, and with all of THAT information, I went to the drivers place, and after you pay a series of fees, they give you a set of license plates. So now, I have a license, I have insurance, and I have plates for the car, so I can drive around in the new car as far as I want. How fabulous. I decided to come back to work, just because I needed to get some lunch, and I wanted to share my great news with Phyllis and everybody at work. They were terribly excited for me, and now I can't wait until work is over so I can slap those plates on there, and take off! I just talked with my baby, and he is going to pick me up for the last time to take me home. AND I just spoke with my Mom and she was terribly excited too. I am excited, now I just want the work day to be over, so I can drive to rehearsal, and back! I told Richard that I wanted to go out tonight, because this is definite cause for celebration! So anyone in Missouri, if you see

679 NZE

plates, those are mine! Now, I just have to name my car. If anyone has any suggestions, because I was thinking that I would really like to find a women character's name from 1983. So I was thinking Crystal Carrington, from Dynasty, or I couldn't think of any names from L.A. Law other than Anne Kelsie, so if anyone has any suggestions, I'm open to suggestions. I'm going to have to think about driving to work now, because Richard said that maybe he was going to take me to work, or maybe not. So another thing, (I just keep on thinking of things that this allows me to do) that if this Shook thing doesn't work out, now I can drive to interviews. Today I gave blood at work, it's so funny, because I was talking with a women in my department, and she was petrified of going and giving blood, and I was trying to re-assure her that it really no big deal. It's so funny, I think it goes back to the skydiving concept, that I don't really fear anything anymore. Or, better yet, I don't really fear anything really small like that. I heard somebody say "don't sweat the small stuff, and in this life, everything is small stuff" and I really believe that. I have no idea where I heard that, maybe from Richard, from something that he said. I can say with all sincerity that I am proud of myself. I never really was able to say that before. I was always proud of my accomplishments in the music world, but in my personal life, I wasn't able to say that to myself, and for once in my life I can sing that song and mean the words. "for once in my life, I won't let sorrow hurt me, not like it's hurt me before, for once in my life, I have someone who loves me, not like they've loved me before" or whatever that second lyric is. That's my theme song now. For once in my life! I sort of like that. I know everybody and their brother has sung that song. Semantics.
I send an email to LEILA about the drives license and look what she sends me

Congratulations Bill. About damn time too might I add. Oh and one more thing....

Why are you soooooooooooooooooooooo GAY!!?!!!??

I have such good friends! Leila cracks me up, we're always accusing each other of being "so gay." It's actually quite hysterical. I am going to drive to rehearsal tonight, and then drive to the bar and have a couple martini's, and then drive home. Isn't that funny? I was just thinking about that, to celebrate the drivers license, we go out, and we drink and drive. Beautiful. I'm just glad I got the license, because I can never spell the damm word, and I've been typing it for what seems to be an eternity in this journal! Today is the end of those days too. Today is a day that I will remember for a long time. I will make a point of remembering it because I will remember the days when I couldn't drive, legally that is, when I could only drive around the neighborhood, and that was illegal. Now, if I get stopped (and in Missouri, it's like there's a cop every thirty miles) I can show my current insurance, I can show my current drivers license, and they won't be able to TOUCH me! WATCH OUT MISSOURI!

Monday, March 26, 2001

I GOT THE LETTER

I GOT THE LETTER

---------------------------------------------------------------------------Bill K. Rosen
---Jackson
Kansas City, MO -----

Re: ____-____-5299

Dear Mr. Rosen:

The Order suspending your drivers license and driving privledges terminate(d) May 2, 2000.

Our office has received information indicating that you may have established residency in another state. If you wish to make application for a drivers license in that state, you may present this ltter to their licensing authorities.

A review of your Illinois driving record indicates that you now hold a valid Class "D" drivers license, issued on March 25, 1997, with a birth date of October 20, 1975. The drivers license expires on October 20, 2001.

This license is not presently suspended or revoked in Illinois.

If you need information, please contact the Reinstatement Review Unit, Driver Services Department, 2701 South Dirksen Parkway, Springfield, Illinois 62723, or you may telephone (217) 785-8619.

Sincerely,

Mary H. Bandy, Supervisor
Reinstatement Review Unit
Traffic Violations Section

Monday, March 26, 2001
Well a couple of things today. I just called Chexsystems and they just confirmed with me that they are going to send me a letter confirming that my account with them is cleared, so now I can go and apply for a bank account. I'll probably do that with a couple of things, I want to get that Charlie check and try and open that with that big check, along with my paycheck. So I'll have a bunch of money to open that account with. Brilliant! I got an email from Sue, and she was saying that she and Thom are busy with school, and work, and getting ready for the baby! It's so exciting. She said that next week they'll be able to tell if it's a girl or if it's a boy. I told her that my hunch was that it was a girl. I don't know why that is, it's just what I felt at the time. I can't wait for this Easter trip, it's going to be a hoot.
I think that I'll be able to upload these pictures of Gabalina and Cara, so hopefully this link will work. I've been wanting to get those pictures up on the page for a while now, and hopefully they will upload. Well, the President is in town, but it was sort of disappointing, because I didn't get to see the motorcade, nor did I get to throw an egg at the limo. Dammit! This weekend was very subdued, at least on my part. On Friday night we went to dinner with Richard's friends Monty and Trilla at this quaint little Italian place. It was very nice, and they are wonderful people. They both are brilliant cello players, I think she plays the cello, and he plays the violin, I'm not sure. But anyway, it was great talking to them, then we went to Starbucks on the Plaza, and had dessert. So Friday was a long day, I worked, from 8-5pm, and then we went out to dinner, and we got home at about 11pm, by that time I was just so tired. So Saturday, I don't remember what we did, so it must not have been too memorable. I know I talked with myMom. She was saying that my brother Mike, got laid off of his job, and is in the throws of unemployment. I thought the comment that Richard said about that was sort of funny, he said that I should call him and tell him that I was concerned about him, and maybe slip him a twenty in an envelope or something (that was my idea, btw). Hysterical! Sunday was sort of crazy for Richard because he had church in the morning, and then rehearsals all day on Sunday. By the time he was done accompanying, it was like 9pm, and then we went out to Starbucks with Pierce and I picked up the laptop from him, and then I got home, and I didn't stop updating this stupid page until 4am on Sunday night/Monday morning. Crazy. So I'm dragging today at work. I have to ask Roxie if I can take some time off and get this license thing done. I just cannot wait until this chapter is over. I was hoping to go tomorrow, Richard says he can help me until 1130am tomorrow, so hopefully we can get it all done by then. Who knows, I maybe be able to drive to rehearsal tomorrow! I just got an email from Richard that gave me the address of two of the three credit reporting agencies. That's my next project, I want to research my credit, and then try and clean it up. I don't think that I have especially bad credit, it's just that I'm not sure what all I have on that report, so I want to be informed.
CSC Credit Services
Box 674406
Houston, TX 77267

Experian
NCAC
P.O. Box 9595
Allen, TX 75013
Well, I'll get letters out to those two agencies, and get that started. I love starting all of these processes, it makes me feel really good about myself. I was telling Richard last night that I feel so much better about my life in the last couple of months. I feel as if I've finally gained control of my life, that I'm going in a really positive direction, and there's nothing to stop me now. I just think that when I was living in Chicago, it seemed like my life was totally out of control, and it was spiraling towards a direction that I knew was bad, but I had little control over where it was going. Now I feel totally in control, I know what I need to do, I know where I need to go to do it, and it just feels wonderful to, for once in my life, to have a grasp on where my life is going. I was telling him you don't really have any idea of HOW out of control your life is until you get a grasp on it, and that is totally true for me. It amazes me what a difference, and what a different life I've created here in Kansas City. I never really imagined that it would be this quick. I mean, I moved to Kansas City on December 20, 2000; and now it's March 26, 2001; and I am talking about how incredibly these changes have already effected me. Amazing.
Well, I've been working on some confidential information and it's making me more pissed by the second. There is so much money floating around this place, you can smell it, and the temp service is not the way to go, if you want to get money. I am going to apply for regular employment as soon as humanly possible. I feel like I am being jerked around by this firm, and I won't have it. If they don't hire me in three months after my date, THEN what do I do? If you want to ask me specific questions about this please do but I'm not going to post what I've learned here, because that would be just bad judgement. I'm PISSED though! Whatever, I can be saved by any number of people. I just attached my old resume to this email. Heidi to the rescue!

Well I just spoke with Roxie about the license thing and she was so accommodating, I feel like a fool for thinking anything otherwise. I also asked about the pregnant women thing, I noticed that there are a couple of pregnant women in the office, and I was just wondering if there was a plan to hire people long-term, or are they just going to hire temps for the time being, for their maternity leave. I'm not sure what the exact answer was, but I'll get back on that. So, I think maybe I won't take a lunch tomorrow, and then, well, I'll have to work it out with Richard, but I want to get it done tomorrow. She was so nice, and accommodating, she just kept on saying "oh, we're really flexible in this department, whatever is best for you, just let me know what you're doing, and that'll be fine" How wonderful. At least there are some good people in this firm. I get the idea that this department, the accounting department is much nicer than the rest of the firm, or at least it's a much more accommodating environment. Now, see, my whole perspective of today just changed in that small conversation. It's amazing how easily you can turn a negative into a positive. It's amazing, if I could have learned that when I was younger, and much more vulnerable, I would have in a much better mindset then. I guess it just comes with getting older. "If I knew then what I know now" type of thing. Hindsight is twenty twenty type of thing. Oh well. I don't regret anything that has happened in my life, but now that my life is turning around, it really is amazing. I've been doing a lot of soul searching these last couple of days, and these last couple of weeks. I've been thinking a lot about what my life has represented up until this moment, and what sort of choices I've made. Richard and I were talking about, and he was saying to me that he views life in economics, like, what type of price do we pay for the life that we lead; what kind of emotional price, what kind of monetary price; what kind of spiritual price do we pay, and I have to say that now that my life is turning around, I feel that everything will be 'righted', in terms of my karma, in terms of my emotional growth, in terms of my spiritual growth. It's sort of the idea when I was still in Chicago when I went and met with my ex-lover Brian. The first meeting was just very strange, but after I think I got over that initial awkwardness, we met for the second time, and he came to my apartment, and I made him some food, but my POINT was that I felt that in the time that we had been apart, that I had become a whole new person. Honestly, I looked at him, and remembered my relationship with him, and I felt as if I (at that present moment) I had grown mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, a tremendous amount. I felt as if I didn't recognize myself, almost as if I couldn't remember why I had even BEEN with him. It's not a knock to him, because he was such a kind soul, but it really was an epiphany, truly. I feel the same way now, I look at my life back in Chicago, and wonder; what the hell was I thinking, it's amazing! I just wonder, if this trend continues, am I going to look back in 5 months at what I'm doing right now and feel the same thing, or am I going to say "that was the beginning of my new life" I can almost foretell that it will be the latter, because I am making positive choices, and I am doing positive things with my life, I have a wonderful man, who I tell all the time "I love you to the moon and back again, and around the stars and back again", I have started a new wonderful life, there's no reason why I should be ashamed of anything that I've been doing. I have to start going back to that churchbecause that really inspires me to think, act, and create positivity.

Friday, March 23, 2001

Skydiving Recollections

Well not to much to report today, I left workearly yesterday because I was not feeling well at all. So Richard picked me up and he ran a couple of errands, and then we went home. I slept (or tried to sleep) for a couple of hours before we had to go to Kathleen's house for dinner. That was fabulous, we had a huge dinner, and then we hung out with her and watched Will & Grace. Then we went back home, and there were a bunch of messages from Leila. So, just by chance, I was checking myHotmail and then Leila called. I was telling her that I was totally talking about her because I was telling Kathleen that my friend Leila, in Chicago, was like Grace, and I was like Will. Best friends forever. Leila was feeling a little bit blue, so I tried to cheer her up a little bit, as much as I could. I was taking a bath during our phone conversation, and I was scared that I was going to drop the phone and electrocute myself. But I didn't. I think that today is the day that the Mirspace station comes down from orbit. There were a bunch of news reports on that last night. I just thought that was the coolest thing. There's a link where you can go and track the Space Shuttle, Mir (well, not anymore!) and the International Space Station on my linkspage. Another news report was saying that what's his name, the guy that's not really the President, um, what's his name, oh yeah, George W. Bush is going to be in Kansas City on Monday. I'm sure you can find the schedule if you go to the Newsroom of the White House webpage. On the news, they said that there wasn't a schedule yet for the Kansas City trip, but he was supposed to be here on Monday. I think it will be pretty cool if Air Force One lands at the downtown airport, because then we can see it from our building. and then watch the motorcade as it comes from the downtown airport. It should be interesting. I think that's what someone said to me, that when the Prez comes to town, that Air Force One always lands at the downtown airport. I will try and find out when he is due in, and report on how I threw eggs at the motorcade. KIDDING! That's a really easy way to get arrested by the Secret Service. I want to figure out someway that I can protest it though. I just have to find out the details of his visit.
On a totally unrelated note, I got an email from Sue and it was wonderful to hear from her. I can't wait until I got to Chicago for Easter. I have my plane reservationsall set and in place. Now all I have to wait for is the day to come that I can get on the plane! For some reason, this trip to Chicago is like a big deal. I think it will be the first time that I've seen my parents since Thanksgiving. That actually makes sense, because when I was living in Chicago, I really didn't get to see them all that often, AND, now that I think about it, that makes sense, because Richard and I went to my parents for Thanksgiving, and then in December I moved to Kansas City and I never really got a chance to say goodbye to my parents, because we had that weird schedule. We said bye to Charlie, and then we said bye to < a href="mailto:s.eckl@worldnet.att.net">Sue & Thom but that was really it. Interesting. I never really thought about that until right this second. I really haven't been to my parents house since Thanksgiving of 2000! How crazy. I just sort of left town, I mean, I did call my parents and told them that I was moving out here, but I never really got to tell them personally, I mean, In ever got to go over there and talk with them. Oh well, I will have a chance on Easter to give them an update on how everything is going. I just emailed Pierce and asked him if I could borrow his laptop again. One of these days, I want to actually buy one of those things for myself, and then I can update this damm page whenever I want to. I've also been emailing back and forth with Susan Peterson because we're both totally bored at work. Oh my god, I just got an email from Leila . I was telling her that I feel like we're two kids talking on walkie-talkie's, and then she wrote to me "Chupacabra is that you? Its me Snow Queen. Over." Oh how funny. Then she was saying that she stayed up until 6am this morning. FREAK!
Mail from Leila

Chupacabra

I got SO wasted last night I had passed out shortly after talking to you. Then Brad came home and woke me up to tell me that people were going to come over. It was 1:30 am. I was like Bullshit. I took a shower and was going to go to bed then I was awake and so I drank instead of sleeping and then it snowed for a little as well as some other weather conditions. Its so weird!
over


Well, we had a bit of excitement at lunch today. We (PhyllisMelissa and I) were walking out of the Pavilion, after lunch, and then I looked down Main street, going North, and I noticed that there was a huge cloud of smoke coming from down the street, and then we saw, through the smoke that there was a car on fire, just sitting in the middle of a street. Then some construction workers got a fire extinguisher and totally doused the beautiful BMW with the fire extinguisher. So I walked into that little restaurant and told the bartender, I said "will somebody call the fire department, there's a car on fire over there." So, the fire department was there within like two minutes. I felt as if I did a good thing today. Leila gave me my horoscope today, and it reads:

It's very important to be aware of the image you're projecting at all times today, Libra. Wear your company manners just in case members of the press are snapping away or taking notes. Deniability is a cynical twist on responsibility. Don't try to get out of something you know you had a hand in -- but don't try to take all of the credit either. Even though you feel that this moment of recognition should be worth something more, the crowd may not be ready to give you a standing ovation just yet.

I'm not sure exactly what that means, but it sounds good :-) I am totally bored at work, everybody in this office has either taken off early, or is not working at all, because every one is just sort of mingling around, talking to each other. I feel like, why I am here? Then again, I changed my perception about that, and if they want to pay me for hardly doing anything, then it's all good. I keep on thinking about the President being here, and how I can protest his appearance. I'll just have to research it this weekend. I'll be ready by Monday. If it's just holding a sign up that says "RESIGN GEORGE!" I'll be happy with that. I really have to start making these journal entries shorter, they take up a lot of space on the Hotmail account. I was thinking of getting my own domain. I think I've said that before, how fabulous would it be to have, Williamkeilrosen.com or something like that. I just have to think of a catchy name. Maybe I'll just use my name. I like Consuella.com too. Hysterical. I just have to sort of 'marinate' on that for a while, and see where that leads. When I get my finances back in order, then I'll get a laptop, and then I can have my own domain. I mean, I already have a great site all to myself, I just need to transfer everything from that one sight, to whatever I am going to get in the future. I got one of those For Rentmagazines that are free in Kansas City, just for Richard and I, because if this house sells, we need to find something quickly. I just hope that we can get something downtown.

This is from Act Four, Scene One of G. Verdi's MACBETH

"A deserted spot on the borders of England and Scotland. In the distance the forest of Birnam. Scottish refugees, men, women and children."

Oppressed country! The sweet name of mother, no cannot be thine, now that for thy children thou art converted all to a tomb! The cry of orphans and bereaved-lamenting the loss of husbands or children at the coming of each new morn flies up and wounds the heavens. To that cry heaven makes response as if, moved to pity, it would propagate in the infinite thy sufferings, oppressed county! The bell eternally tolls to death, but no man makes so bold as to shed a useless tear for those who suffer and those who die. Oppressed county! My country, o my county!

I LOVE that. Yvette asks a great question in her email to me: Why can't you have a simple lunch,
{THERE IT IS, QUITE PLAIN AND SIMPLY}
and did you simply walk in the restaurant and ask to call the fire department or did you demand it. Somebody help the dumb people!!
and then again:
You are too funny, I can imagine you going hysterical, (about the car fire) I bet the weather is nice there. Is there a lot of discrimination there? You have to see the house on Easter it is mango yellow in the kitchen, we are like 2 big Mexican in the fiesta house!!

I was talking with Susan about this whole concept of 'thinking outside of the box' and I was telling her that I was reading an article last night at Kathleens. It was inOprah's O-Magazine and it was the column that she writes at the end of the issue called "What I Know For Sure" and it effected me quite positively, because I think that I have been thinking 'outside of the box' for quite a while now. I mean, I was telling Susan, that anytime I get upset, or I am fearful or something that I need to do, or have to do in the future, I just think of the skydivingexperience that I had last October, in Kansas City. It's really hard to put into words how that experience affected me, but I can only say that it wasn't until we got up in the plane, and they opened the door, and I saw the two other guys jump OUT of the plane, that I thought to myself "Bill, just do it, it's not rational, it's not logical, it's not ANYTHING, just do it." and then I climbed towards the instructor, I put my right foot out of the plane, while holding the wing support, put my hands on that thing, and clung for dear life, and then let my legs fly free, so now that my hands are the only thing that is holding me to that plane. I looked left, and saw the instructor guy motion to me and yell to me "GO!" and, it was at that moment, that I had this I don't even know how to explain it, my mind was racing at a million miles a second, I was thinking of what I had to do when I jumped, I was thinking of WHERE I WAS, because I could see the ground that was 14,000 feet below me, with nothing in between me and the ground, and then I hung there for a second, (and this is where my experience I'm sure is different than what actually happened) and it seemed like I hung there for a while after the instructor said "GO!" and then I just pushed off the plane, and I remember being totally disoriented and saying out loud "ugh, ugh" and then the next thing that I remember is flying through the clouds, and looking up at this beautiful, yellow canopy that was above me. Because I was flying through the clouds, I couldn't see anything below me, so, for a second I didn't realize what happened, I thought that I was on the ground, or I thought that something went wrong, because I couldn't see anything, but then all of the clouds cleared away, and I could see the ground, WAY down there below me, and I could see miles and miles around, it was so beautiful, words can't even do it justice. When I realized that I was actually in the air, I FREAKED out, because humans aren't really supposed to be thousands of feet in the air and I remember I said "oh my god, oh my god oh my god" a couple of times, and I kept on looking up at the canopy, just to make sure that it was open, and then after a while I relaxed and then I started screaming at the top of my lungs "WAAAAA HOOOOO" I just remember that I didn't feel a falling sensation, when I was up there. You don't feel as if you're falling, you just feel like your just hanging there, and it's completely silent. So then, I heard the radio for the first time, and I heard the voice on the radio say "number three, you're doing just fine, practice some turns and we'll be with you in a little bit" so I took the little toggle things in my hand, and turned a couple of times. It was phenomenal. And then, all I can remember was following the voice on the radio, saying "okay, turn left; keep on turning keep on turning, there you go" and I kept on turning until he said stop. By that time, it was ready for the final descent, and I could see the airport down below me, and it was time for the final stretch, and I can remember seeing the ground come flying towards me, and pulling the toggles both at the same time, and landing with both of my feet on the ground. OH MY GOD, I'm on the ground. The guy that was at the landing site asked me "Why were you screaming, were you screaming because you were excited or because you were afraid?" and I said "No, I was screaming because I was having so much fun!" Then we walked, with the parachute, over to the hangar, and that was it. I took the gear off, and that was it. I just got a rush of adrenaline just typing this, so you could imagine what it would be like to actually experience that. This is the first time that I've ever really wrote about this in depth, and it really has affected my life in numerous ways. BWAH! I think that it's really funny that at the beginning of the journal entry I said "oh, there's not a lot for me to report today" and here I am, writing another damm novel. That's another thing that I want to accomplish, I want to start writing a book, I'm not sure what I want to write about yet, but I want to start writing, and I hope that it'll come to me soon! Okay, I am just going to send this NOW! If there's anything else I can add to this journal, I'll add it on later, at home or something, but this is getting out of control!

Thursday, March 22, 2001

SleepTalker

God, I am tired this morning. Richard was telling me that I was talking up a storm last night, and then early this morning I blurted out "well it's only an audition". I have no idea, and I was telling him on the ride down here that I am totally fascinated by that whole concept of my sleep talking. Everybody always tells me that, and I always wake up feeling like I haven't slept a wink, and Richard told me that I kept on waking up because I couldn't breathe, that I was trying to breathe through my nose, and I couldn't breathe. So anyway, I couldn't sleep last night, and that's why I feel like I haven't slept, because I hardly did last night. Richard went to this play thing with Elsa last night. It was apparently a Don Knotts play about discovering that his son is gay. He said it was cute, but the acting sucked. He also said that when the acting sucks at that theater, that the acting is still first-rate, so I guess it didn't' suck, it was still good, but not as good as it could have been. So I just stayed home last night, and watched the West Wing, but it was a rerun, so I was bored with that. It was the one where they spend most of the time on Air Force One, and some of the staff is at the White House, and the majority of the staff is on Air Force One. So needless to say it was a rerun, and I have seen that one twice now. I was just sort of sickly last night, and I feel like I am totally sick this morning as well. I probably shouldn't' be here, because I am probably totally contagious, and getting this whole office sick, but as Phyllissaid "you're not here, you don't get paid, hello" and at this point, I need all the money that the Universe can give me. I live an Abundant Life, I am filled with abundance. If I just keep on telling myself that, I'll start to believe it, and then when I start to believe it, then it will become true. This I know is true. I know this to be true.

I have waited, toes curled, hat rolled, heart and genitals in hand, on the back porches of America's white outhouse. In the fields and something or rejection.

See how easily I tangent? It must be the coffee finally hitting me. I actually don't have anything planned for this morning, or today for that matter. I think we might be going to Kathleen's house for dinner. It's either Kathleen tonight or Monty and Trilla's house, one of the two. God I feel like shit, I just have to say that. Here are the words I have to learn, for the showby next week:

ANYTHING GOES
Times have changed, and we've often rewound the clock Since the puritans got a shock, when they landed on Plymouth Rock If today any shock they should try to stem, stead of landing on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock would land on them. In olden days a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking but now God knows, anything goes. Good authors too, who once knew better words now only use four letter words writing prose; anything goes. The world has gone mad today, and good's bad today, and black's white today and day's night today and most guys today that men prize today are just silly gigolos. When every night the set that's smart is intruding on nudist parties in studios. Anything goes. When Mrs. Ned McLean (God bless her) can get Russian reds to 'yes' her than I suppose, anything goes. When Rockefeller still can hoard enough money to let Max Gordon produce his shows, anything goes. if saying your prayers you like, if green pears you like, if old chairs you like, if back stairs you like, if love affairs you like with young bears you like why nobody will oppose. And though I'm not a great romancer, I'm sure that I'm bound to answer when you propose; anything goes. (TENORS= OO's) darling Anna shows - anything goes, anything goes. Times have changed, times have changed. Now a days in many ways. Anything/anything /SPEAK="anything goes!"
KANSAS CITY
(baritone intro) (all tenors) I counted twenty gas buggies goin by their sels almost every time I tuk a walk, then I put my ear to a Bell telephone and a strange woman started in to talk. What next? what next? Every things up to date in Kansas City, they've gone about as fur as they can go. They went and built a skyscraper seven stories high about as high as a building aughta grow! Everythin's like a dream in Kansas City. It's better than a magic lantern show, y' can turn the raidiator on whenever you want some heat, with every kind of comfort every house is all complete, y' can walk to privies in the rain and never wet your feet, they've gone about as fur as they can go, they've gone about as fur as they can go. Everything's up to date in Kansas City, they've gone about as fur as they can go they've got a big the-ay-ter they call the Bur les que for fifty cents you can see a dandy show. (SOLO) She went about as fur as she could go. Oh! That's about as fur as we can go, and that's about as fur as we can go.
NELLY MEDLEY
Oh! I'm a wild and wooly son of the west, where all the men are born with hair on their chests, where the rattlesnakes rattle and the cactus like to grow, and we don't give a damm for the rain or the snow, that's where the buzzards do their buzzin the best, and where the birds use cactus to feather their nest. Some folks wonder how I get by, well, I'm a one gun man with a two gun eye Oh! I'm a wild and wooly son of the west with a yippee yi yo key ay WAIT, WAIT WAIT TILL THE SUN SHINES (MEDLEY)
Wait 'til the sun shines Nellie, when the clouds go drifting by. We will be happy Nellie, Don't you cry (don't you cry). Down lovers lane we'll wander, sweethearts you and I, Wait till the sun shines Nellie, bye and bye(MY NELLY's) My dear Nelly's eyes are blue, hair of bright and golden hue; Like his heart, his eyes are true, My Nelly my own.(2nd Verse) Never lived a Queen so fair, with my Nelly life I'd share. By his side I'd know no care, My Nelly my own. Ne'er was culled from nature's bow'r Half so rare or sweet as flow'r, through we've culled them hour by hour My Nelly my own, My Nelly's blue eyes, My Nelly's blue eyes, Brighter than stars that shine at night My Nelly's blue eyes. Sweetheart's you and I, wait till the sun shines Nelly, bye and bye, bye and bye, (yes by and bye)
SOFT SHOE SONG
Give me that old soft show, I said that old soft shoe, ah one, ah two, a doo-dle-dee doo-dle-dee doo. Play me that old soft shoe and nothing else will do that's the dance my darling used to do. (repeat on do's) (TENORS)We'll sing love's refrain, dance the whole night through, strolling lover's lane, we'll harmonize and doodle dee doodle dee doo, Give me that old soft shoe I said that old soft shoe, ah one, ah two, a doodle dee doodle dee doo, play me that old soft shoe and nothing else will do that's the dance my darling used to do. Do Do.
GERSHWIN MEDLEY
Someday he'll come along, the man I love, and he'll be big and strong, the man I love, and when he comes my way, I'll do my best to make him stay doo-doo / won't, we both won't say a word Doo. Him Sunday maybe Monday maybe not. Still I'm sure to meet him one day, maybe Tuesday will be my good news day. We'll build a little home, that's meant for two, from which I'll never roam, who would, would you, and so all else above, I'm waiting for the man I love.(SOMEONE) longing to see, I hope that he, turns out to be, someone who'll watch over me. Doo. Little lamb who's lost in the woods, I know I could, always be good, to one who'll watch over me. Although he may not be the man some guys think of as handsome to my heart he'll carry the key. Won't you tell him to put on some speed, follow my lead, oh how I need, someone who'll watch over me.
(THEY CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY)
The way you wear your hat, the way you sip your tea, the mem'ry of all that, No! No! They can't take that away from me, the way your smile just beams, the way you sing off key, the way you haunt my dreams, No! No! They can't take that away from me. Never meet again on the bumpy road to love, always/ mem'ry, the way you hold your knife, the way we danced til three, the way you changed my life, No! No! they can't take that away from me.
(EMBRACEABLE U)
Embrace me, you irreplaceable you. Just one look at you my heart went tipsy in me. -bring out the the gy psy in me, in me, I love all the many charms about you. Above all, I want my arms about you. Don't be a naughty baby, come to papa come to papa doo.
SOLDIERS CHORUS
Glory and love to the men of old! Their sons may copy their virtue bold, Courage in heart and a sword in hand, Both ready to fight and ready to die for fatherland. Who needs bidding to dare, by a trumpet blown? Who lacks pity to spare when the field is won? Who would fly from a foe, if alone or last? And boast he was true; as cowards might do when peril is past. (Repeat chorus) Now home again, welcome the long and fiery strife of war is over; rest charms us after toil as hard as ours beneath a stranger sun. Many a maiden fair is waiting there to greet her truant soldier lover and many a heart will fail, and brow grow pale to hear, to hear the tale of cruel peril he has run and many heart and many a heart will fail and brow will grow pale to hear the tale of peril he has run. We are at home We are at home. We are at home. (Repeat chorus with ending harmonies)
ARMED FORCES SALUTE (ARMY)
Over hill, over dale, we will hit the dusty trail, In and out hear them shout counter march and right about. Then it's Hi! Hi! Hee! in the field artillery Shout out your numbers loud and strong! For where e're you go, you will always know that the Caissons go Rolling along. (COAST GUARD)
Semper Paratus is our guide, our fame, and glory too. To fight to save or fight and die Aye! Coast Guard we are for you. (MARINES)
from the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli, we will fight our country's battles on the land as on the sea. First to fight for right and freedom, and to keep our honor clean, we are proud to claim the title of United States Marines. (AIR FORCE)
Off we go into the Wild Blue Yonder, climbing high into the sun, Here they come, zooming to meet our thunder, climbing high, into the sun. At e'm boys! Give 'er the gun! Down we dive spouting our flame from under, off with one hell uv-a roar. We live in fame or go down in flame Hey! nothing with stop the U.S. Air force (NAVY)
Anchors away my boys Anchor away Farewell to college joys, we sail at break of day day day day, Through our last night on shore drink to the foam, Until we meet once more here's wishing you a happy voyage ...home.
BEAUTIFUL GIRLS
Nature never fashioned a flower so fair, no rose can compare, nothing respectable, half so delectable, Cheer them in their glory diamonds and pearls, Dazzling jewels by the score This is what beauty can be, beauty celestial the best you'll agree, all for you these beautiful girls. (REPEAT with 2nd Verse)= Faced with these lorelies what man can moralise, caution on your guard with beautiful girls, flawless charmers every one. This is how Sampson was shorn, each in her style Delilah reborn, each a gem a beautiful, diadem of beautiful, welcome them these beautiful girls.
EVERY BABY NEEDS A DA-DA-DADDY
(SOLO)Every baby needs a da da daddy, to keep her worry free, everybody needs a da da daddy but where's the one for me? Rich or poor I don't car who if he hasn't got a million then a half will do, could my da daddy by you? (REPEAT 2nd AFTER SOLO) Every baby needs a da da daddy with silver in his hair, Every baby needs a da da daddy who has some gold to spare Some sweet softie who enjoys bringing home his baby little diamond toys, Everybody needs a da da daddy could my da daddy be you. You hoo!
MY HEAT BELONGS TO DADDY
While tearing off, a game of golf, make my play for the caddy, but when I do, I don't follow through cause my heart belongs to daddy. daddy daddy. If I invite a boy some night, to dine on my fine finnan haddie, I just adore his asking for more, but my heart belongs to daddy, yes my heart belongs to daddy so I simply couldn't be bad, yes my heart belongs to daddy, da-da-da-da-da-da daddy, So I want to warn you laddie, though I think you're perfectly swell, that my heart belongs to daddy, cause my daddy he treats it so well. and treats it, and then he repeats it, my daddy he treats it so well.
IN PRAISE OF FUCKING WOMEN
Pretty women at their mirrors, letter writing, weather watching, how they make a man sing! Proof of heaven, as you living, pretty women, sir pretty women, here's to pretty women, all the pretty women. Someone will hold me soft as jenny, skinny and blue eyed as Amy, Susan. Someone will wake me sweet as Amy, tender and foolish as Sarah, Joanne. I don't know even now quite how it began. You must meet my wife Joanne. OOH. Someone will hold me soft as Jenny, skinny and blue eyed as Amy, Susan. Someone will wake me sweet as Amy, tender and foolish as Sarah, Joanne! Bloody Mary is the girl I love now a'int that too damm bad. That's why the lady is a tramp. Bee-dle dee dee dee, two ladies bee dle dee dee dee. <3 ladies> bee. Fifty seven ladies and we're the only men Ja! Bess, you is my woman now, You is. Marian. Madame librarian. Bloody Mary Sarah, Amy, Susan, jenny and maria, Dulcinella, dolly, Annie, sally Jesse and Evita, Cinderella Bess, Rapunzel Mary Poppins Bonnie Jean Joanne. Joanne. Pretty women, sir pretty women, here's to pretty women.
I'M STILL HERE
I've been through Ghandi, Windsor and Wally's affair, and I'm here. Amos n' Andy, Mahjongg and platinum hair, and I"m here. I got through Abie's Irish Rose, had heebie jeebies for Beebies, Bathy sphere. I've lived through Brenda Fraszier and I'm here. Doot Doot Doot, Anything else is a laugh. Reefers and vino, rest cures religion and pills, and I'm here, Been called a pink, commie tool, Got through it stinko by my pool, I should have gone to an acting school that seems clear, so I'm here. Black sable one day, next day it goes into hock, But I'm here. Top billing Monday, Tuesday you're touring in stock, but I'm here, First you're another sloe-eyed vamp. Then you career to career to career. I'm almost through my memoirs and I'm here. Doot Doot Doot., Whatever happened to her? Good Times and bum times, I've see them all and my dear, I'm still here. Plush velvet sometimes, sometimes just pretzels and beer, but I'm here. s I've run the gamut, A to Z. I've got through all of last year, and I'm here. Lord knows at least I was there, and I'm here. Looks who's here, I'm still here.

GYPSY MEDLEY
Extra! Extra! Hey, look at the headlines, historical news is being made. Extra! Extra! They're drawing a red line, around the biggest scoop of the decade. A barrel of charm, a fabulous thrill, the biggest little headline in vaudeville. Hmm. Just let me entertain you, and we'll have a real good time yes sir, we'll have a real good time. So let us entertain you, let us make you smile, We're very versatile. And if you're real good, we'll make you feel good, We want your spirits to climb, just let us entertain you, and we'll have a real good time yes sir, we'll have a real good time. Some people can get their thrill, knitting sweaters and sitting still, That's okay for some people who don't know they're alive. That's perfect for some people of one hundred and five, but I at least gotta try, when I think of : All the sights that I gotta see yet, All the places I gotta play, All the things that I gotta be yet. Come on, Papa whaddya say? Some people can be content, playing bingo and paying rent, that's peachy for some people for sun hum drum people to be. But some people a'int me. Things look swell, Things look great, gonna have the whole world on a plate, starting here, starting now, honey Everything's coming up Roses. Clear the decks, clear the tracks, we got nothing to do but relax, blow a kiss, take a bow, honey everything's coming up roses. Now's our inning, stand the whole world on it's ear, set it spinning, that'll be just the beginning. Curtain Up! Light the lights We've got nothing to hit but the heights! We'll be swell, I can tell, That lucky start I talk about is due! Honey, everything's coming up Roses for me and for you!


FOR THE LOVE OF GOD that's a lot of words! Melissais coming down to my floor to get me to go and smoke. Even though I feel like shit, I'll go with her. I just have to get away from this desk for a little bit. I am so anxious to get all of these journal entries onto the damm page, I want to try and get a January/February/March/April sort of idea going, like have different journal pages. One for January. I think it should be journaljan.html & journalfeb.html & journalmar.html. I think that actually looks good too. Oh, I just got a little excited when I was doing that, I love the spark of inspiration. I think it should look something like this:

Welcome to My Journal


Please pick which month of 2001 you would like to view:


January, 2001


February, 2001


March, 2001



I really like that idea. I think that I'll stay for as long as I possibly can, but I feel like I'm not doing any good staying here while I'm sick, but then again, I hate to not get money. Oh well, three hours is not going to make or break me, I should just leave. I'll just stay until lunch, and then see if Richard can pick me up. Like I said before, I'm not doing any good here, I'm going to leave at lunch, and that's my final answer!

Wednesday, March 21, 2001

Starbucks

Well isn't that a beeyatch. I tried to go get my license today with Richard and they promptly shut the door in my face. Of course they won't let me even apply for a license because I don't have the reinstatement letter from the Secretary of State in Illinois. Why would I think that it would be any easier? I was joking with Heidi Mattingly called the house and told me that they didn't offer me the job at the other law firm "even though you tested exceptionally well" because I was affiliated with the temp service. Isn't that a hoot. So I go back to square one, and try this again. All I need really is that dammed letter from the Secretary of State in Illinois. Oh, the tangled web we weave, said the spider. I just have to get in a more positive mentality, and then everything will fall into place. I was just hoping that today I could get everything done and done quickly so that I could then apply for plates for the stupid car, and get everything done in one fell swoop. What was I thinking? I just have to stop. So, Richard is going out with Elsa tonight, and the house is being shown at 5:30pm or so, so when he picks me up, he can't take me home, because we can't be in the house when it's being shown, so I think we decided to meet at the Starbucksat theCity Center. I hope that link works, I'm not sure if that's the same one, the city center one, but that's okay. On a more positive note, I got an email from Richardthat invited the men's quarter that I sang in at church to sing on the opening of the DIVA! DIVA! DIVA! show. It would be a quartet with John Sims,Bill Nelson, Jim King and I, and we would sing the opening of Puttin' On the Ritz, and do a hat and cane routine throughout the rest of that number. I thought that was exciting at least. I am totally excited to be apart of that show, it apparently is the biggest fundraiser that the church has every year, and apparently is a huge show, and a huge success every year, so I'm excited to be a part of that. I'm not sure when the show is, but I'll put that information in when I get it. Melissajust called me to go down for a smoke, and I told her to come down here first, so I'll go and do that, and come back to this. Things are turning up, if I just keep that attitude, I should be fine, if I keep on thinking positively, then everything should go my way, and things should start to fall into my lap. That letter is coming soon, it's already on it's way, I just have to be patient and wait for it. I actually had a funny idea of what I am going to do when I get that flipping letter, I am going to ask the guy that sits next to me in Accounting, and ask him to scan it in, and then change it to a .PDF file, and then change it into a .JPG file so I can display it proudly on the webpage. I want to get the license scanned also, because like I've said before, the day that I get that damm license, is the day that I am going to celebrate, big time. We also had rehearsallast night, and it's getting down to the wire now. We have rehearsal next Tuesday, Wednesday is the Tech Rehearsal, Thursday is the Dress, and then Saturday and Sunday is the show. I think that I am going to order the CD from the GALA Festival 2000 of CGMC and I want to order the 'Best of Festival 2000' CD as well. As it turns out, CGMC and HMC are on the "Best of" CD, HMC sung "One World" and CGMC sang "In Whatever Time We Have", so I thought that those two cd's would be a great addition to the CD collection. Here's a little information on the upcoming season with HMC:

Wednesday, March 28, 6:45pm - TECH Rehearsal
Thursday, March 29, 6:45pm - DRESS Rehearsal
Saturday, March 31, 6:00pm CALL - Follies! performance (8pm) at the Folly
Sunday, April 1, 3:00pm CALL - Follies! performance (4pm) at the Folly
Cast Party in the shareholders room after concert
Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - \\$200 Deposit due for HMC 2002 European Tour
Tuesday, April 10, 7-10pm, All Soul's - First rehearsal for Summer Concert OUR FAMILY ALBUM
Saturday, May 12 - Community Performance @ Folly Theater
Saturday, June 16th/Sunday, June 17 - Summer Concert OUR FAMILY ALBUM
Friday, June 22nd/Saturday, June 23rd - Joint Concert with CGMC in Chicago.

So that gives you a little idea of what my schedule is going to be like for the next couple of months. I haven't decided if I want to sing for that OUR FAMILY ALBUM yet, but I probably will. I think I want to audition for the Kansas City Chorale as well, I'll have to find out when the auditions for that group are. I think that they are coming up soon, as I remember the President of the chorus saying something about going to their concert and saying that it was spectacular. I would love to start participating in some more serious chorus music. I think I've said that in previous entries, I should attach my music resume so I can put a Music Resume link on here. That's it, I'm done with the journal today, it's just about 4pm, and I have a fever, so I'm burning up, and when I close my eyes, it's like that burning sensation that feels really good when you close your eyes, but it just makes you want to go to sleep. I have so much to do on this damm webpage, it makes me upset that I can't get to it everyday, I'll just have to ask Pierce if I can borrow that laptop again.

Tuesday, March 20, 2001

Dear Mr. President (of South Africa)

This is the text of my letter to President Bush, we'll see if they only respond to positive letters, or if they respond to negative letters.


President George W. Bush
The White House
Washington D.C., 20501

Dear President Bush:

I am writing you to voice my opposition to your Administration. I believe that you were not elected to the Office of the Presidency, and I believe that you should resign. I believe this because there are numerous reports that have come out since the outcome of the election, that have said that Al Gore would have been the President, had all the votes been counted in Florida. How can you continue to go on being the President when you shouldn't have been awarded the Presidency? Please resign, there would be no disgrace in doing the right thing for the county. I believe that history will judge you very harshly knowing that you should have not been the President all along. Al Gore has much more experience, and it shows that you don't, because the economy has turned into a downward spiral, and the morale of the country has also turned into a downward spiral as well. Please consider resigning and letting someone who has some experience lead the nation.

Please forward any correspondence to the address below.

Thank you for your consideration:




William Rosen


This is the letter that I am sending to all the leaders of the world:
President of South Africa
Mr. Thabo M. Mbeki
Private Bag X1000
Pretoria, South Africa
0001
Dear Mr. President:

My name is William Rosen, and I am from the United States. I am sending letters to all of the leaders of the world. The reason I am sending you this letter is to ask for the resignation of our President, George W. Bush. I believe he has not been lawfully elected to the Presidency, and he should therefore resign. Our country's economy and the morale of the country has been failing ever since he was "appointed" the President. There have been many reports since the election that have stated that if all the votes for the Presidential election would have been counted, that he would have not been elected, Mr. Al Gore would have been elected. I am trying to solicit the leaders of the world to ask for Mr. Bush's resignation. I believe that with your help, we can turn this grave situation around, and bring the morale of the United States back to the original place. Will you please send a letter, or call Mr. Bush, and demand his resignation? I would very much appreciate it.

Please forward any correspondence to the address below:

Thank you for your consideration



William K. Rosen

Monday, March 19, 2001

Your Majesty:

This is a letter that I have sent the Queen of England, I want to see what the response is. I was just talking with Leila and I was telling her that I wanted to start a letter writing campaign to all of the leaders of the world and see what kind of responses I get. Here it is:

HRH Queen Elizabeth II
Buckingham Palace
London, England
SW1A 1AA

Your Majesty:

My name is William Rosen, I am from the United States. I wanted to write you and tell you that I am an enormous admirer of yours. I feel that you are one of the most influential women in the history of the British Monarchy, and one of the most respected women in the history of the world. History will show that you are the most brilliant women in the history of documented time. I wanted to also tell you that I have the utmost respect for you and your family. I know that in past weeks your country has gone through a horrible ordeal with the discovery of the 'foot and mouth' disease, and I wanted to give you my unending support through this difficult time. It is a tribute to your leadership that you pull your country through turbulent times like these. I also wanted to know that whatever decisions that you make, I am in complete support of you, and my unending love of you and the Monarchy will never cease. I could only wish that in America, that we have a leader so wonderful as you. My life has been enriched by watching your family grow and develop, and blossom into a family that is truly wonderful. I give you my unending support and gratitude.


Thank you,



William K. Rosen
- - - Jackson
Kansas City, MO
United States of America


Isn't that just hysterical? I try to write her every chance I get, because I LOVE her. Well a couple of things to report today, this weekend was a good one. On Friday, Richard and I went out to the bar and had a couple of drinks. We were talking about my getting an apartment and everything that went along with that whole issue. I still don't know how I feel about that. I think I am leaning towards getting an apartment because I feel as though I really haven't been able to explore this city, and I haven't been able to make any new friends other than the ones at work and that doesn't really count. I just don't know if that will help in that, or not help. I don't know what to think about this whole thing. On Friday, Phyllis and I were talking about getting an apartment together, and she was quite excited about that whole prospect, but I am still unsure. So on Friday we went out to the bar, Saturday morning we went and took my car to get inspected. That was a really funny story because I was sort of worried that the car either wouldn't pass the inspection because it was so old, or that we would run into some other problem getting that car to pass, but as it turns out, we went to the little dingy gas station and the man didn't even look at the car at all, he just wanted to see the paperwork, and then he just wrote all the paperwork up, and I gave him my twelve dollars and he just put the sticker on the car and that was it. No questions. So at least the car got inspected. Then Richard had to go play in the afternoon for some of his friends, and I stayed home, we went grocery shopping on Saturday night. Sunday morning, I slept in, and then we went to lunch at this cute little Mexican place with his friends Crystal and Michelle, the power lesbians. They were of course very nice, I had met them before at their Christmas party and they were wonderful. Then I went with Richard to one of his rehearsals for the DIVA! DIVA! DIVA! show and that was fabulous. It was Lea Lavish and Nancy Nail who were there at the rehearsal, they both have tremendous voices, and it was just so inspiring to hear them. It makes me want to break out and audition for more choruses, and even more solo stuff. I think the reason why I haven't really auditioned for much outside the chorus is that I have wanted to really get my roots in this city started, and I haven't really been able to get that done, because I've been so limited in my travel. But as soon as I get my license situation finished, I'm going to be a driving fool. I actually got the feeling that the novelty is going to wear off quickly. Like I am going to drive around for a while, and then remember how fabulous it was, but then remember how not big of a deal it was to drive around. We'll see. I spoke with Leila on Sunday night, I actually called her twice. I sent her an email with the text of that letter to the Queen, and she called me insane. I just have no idea of why I get such a kick out of sending her mail. I think it's just the novelty of receiving something from Buckingham Palace. It's the same sort of thing when you receive something from the White House, you just feel like somebody special. I realize that they get an inordinate amount of mail each day, but I still think that it's special. Gosh darn it, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dammit, the Queen likes me! I actually called home on Sunday evening too, and I spoke with Mary. It was great to talk to her, she and I don't' really get a lot of chances to speak to each other, so I thought that was cool. I just got her new email address, so I'll be more in contact with her as well. I sent an email to Sue because I haven't talked with her in so long, and I want to keep in contact with her as much as I can. I can't wait to see her on Easter. Oh and I got my flight information for that Easter weekend, I'll post that on here as well:

PASSENGER(S)
WILLIAM ROSEN
ITINERARY:

Friday, April 13 - Kansas City to Chicago Midway

Flight 168
Depart Kansas City (MCI) at 6:55 PM and,
arrive in Chicago Midway (MDW) at 8:10 PM.

Monday, April 16 - Chicago Midway to Kansas City

Flight 271
Depart Chicago Midway (MDW) at 6:10 PM and
arrive in Kansas City (MCI) at 7:30 PM.

I am terribly excited about going to Chicago to see everybody. I was telling Leila that my Mom was trying to get me to stay at their house on Easter weekend, and she said "you would have access to a car, and we could work everything out, etc." and I was just laughing because before, when I was living there, my Mom wouldn't let me get ten feet within any of the cars, and now that I've moved away, she's saying that I would have full access to the cars. But nonetheless, I totally appreciate the offer. I think she wanted me to stay at their house for the whole weekend, but I think that I am going to stay at Leila's place, just because I know that we are going to go out and get crazy in the city, and meet up with Terese, and probably crash at Terese's place on Saturday night. Who really knows what's going to happen, I sho' don't. I'm sort of scared to see what happens that weekend. I'm sure we'll do some moderate drinking SHYA!@ It should be great fun though, I haven't seen everybody since I moved, and I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to my parents, nor Leila, nor really anyone except Sue & Thom, so that'll be good to see everybody. I'm getting more and more excited as the days pass, and as the days get closer to Easter. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it! I'll have more tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 14, 2001

03/14/01

Well we had rehearsal last night with the chorusand it's turning out to be a fabulous show. It's so funny because now everything in my life is coming together so brilliantly. I got the best news yet, yesterday, that the Secretary of State of Illinois has received my payment, and has reinstated my drivers license. That allows me to apply for a Missouri license, and start driving around now, with my beautiful new car. I also found out that my immediate supervisor in the Accounting Department is 'family' and that's nice to know. It was so funny, driving to rehearsal last night, and Richard and I were talking about my trip to Chicago this Easter, and he was saying that he was glad that I was going to Chicago to get crazy with Leila , because if I went out all hours of the night here in Kansas City, he said that he wouldn't sleep if I did that here, so he was glad that I was going to Chicago. I thought that was kind of amusing. So now, essentially, all I have to do, is go to the drivers license place here in Kansas City, and get a license, and then worry about getting some insurance to cover my car, and then get license plates for the car, which shouldn't take too much effort. All I have to do is get the car inspected, which should take like five minutes, and then pay the property taxes on the car, and then Richard said that they just give you the license plates right there. WOO HOO. That's so exciting. Thank god I getpaid tomorrow, I've been a pauper all of this week, and this paycheck is going to be a nice relief from being so poor. The thing about that is this whole paycheck is going to go for expenses with the new carand the new license. Oh well, Richard and I were talking the other day and he was saying that these first initial expenses with the car, are only one-time expenses, so that's fine, it just sucks to be poor, I get so panicked when I'm poor, I just go into total panic mode. The other thing is that I've been sort of cheating here and there about thesmokingthing and it's sort of disappointing, well, I'm more disappointed in myself, but I believe that I will bounce back and just stop. I have to say that Richardwas right about that. We had a discussion a couple weeks ago because I was trying to convince him that I could just have one cigarette here and there, and just have control over and he said to me, 'oh that's a risky game to play, and you're playing with fire' I just sort of didn't pay attention to that, and I tried it, and now I'm regretting it. Well I'm not regretting it, but I've learned that I just can't do that, I just have to stop altogether, and just not smoke. That's the bottom line. Just stop. It's much easier to say than do, but I do have to say that it'll be much easier now, as I've only had a couple of cigarettes in the last couple of days, so it won't be as hard as before. Oh Jesus, I just read a notebook that I told Leila that I would put on my webpage, so here it goes. Oh, and I have 22 of these!@

(For the Misadventures of The Belligerent Trio, please go to, the Trio page

Tuesday, March 13, 2001

03/13/01

Tuesday - March 13, 2001
Well I had sort of a so so day yesterday, it was bad things, but then it turned into sort of a positive, or I'm trying to put a positive spin on things. Needless to say, I finally got the W2 from the Chicago Public Schools Teachers Academy, so I started preparing my taxes so I could get my refund. So I'm doing all the math on the form, and it tells me that I have to PAY the damn IRS \\$500. I was pissed, how could that possibly happen? Well, and now that I am reflecting upon this, it makes sense, but, since I was working for Charlie as the Hospice worker, I made something like \\$7,700 or somewhere around there, and none of that money has taxes taken out of it, because it's from a disability payment, and Charlie doesn't pay taxes on that money. So anyway, now I'm stuck with the payment at the end of the year, and that sort of pissed me off. I was expecting to get a big ol' refund from the government, because I didn't make enough money in general to have to pay out anything, but now that this issue has come up with the Hospice money, now I have to pay a big chunk of the taxes on that. Not good. It's just one of those things that springs up on you, that you had no idea about, and that you totally weren't expecting. Pissed me off. But anyway, I remember having a conversation about this with Charlie when I was in Chicago, and he was telling me that Jennifer, the previous worker that he had working for him, ran into this same problem at the end of the year, and she wound up paying the taxes at the end of the year, and that he split the taxes with her. So hopefully that'll be the way that this winds up, I left him a message last night, but I have yet to speak with him personally. I spoke with Yvette yesterday at work, and it was great to talk with her. I haven't spoken to her really, since I left Chicago, and it was good to catch up with her. She said that she ran into Terese the other night at some bar, and that Terese looks great, that she's lost a LOT of weight, which is wonderful. She also said that they coordinated plans so that when I go to Chicago on Easter weekend, that we will hook up with Terese in the city. I seriously can't wait for Easter, I'm just sort of worried about the cost involved, but everything will work out. Yesterday I also sent a request for a greeting for my Grandma to the White House for her 88th birthday. I thought that was a cool idea. I got the idea through an email that I got from the White House, an Auto Response email that you get from the President every time you send him an email. I've been sending a lot of those emails lately, about the Hate Crimes Prevention Act, and issues like that. You might want to check my Matthew Shepard activism page to get a sample of these kinds of letters and emails. It's so funny, the Auto Response email says that "unfortunately, because of the sheer number of emails that the President receives, he can't read them personally" what a crock, it says that the staff reviews them and gives the President updates on issues. So I wonder if I send enough of those Hate Crimes Prevention emails, maybe I'll get on the agenda sometime. Wishful thinking I know, but what's wrong with wishful thinking? We have rehearsal tonight, the show is going really well, I invited some women from work to go, I hope they'll go, it should be a great show, and like I said in the email that I sent them, the cast party's always a hoot, you pay ten bucks and eat, meet all of the cast, and get drunk. You can't beat that. I have been increasingly excited about the car that I bought. It's an 1983 Oldsmobile Cutlass Brougham V-6. And it is in pristine condition, it only has something like 43,000 miles on it! Brilliant Every once in a while, I'll take it out in the neighborhood and drive it around, just to keep it running. I found out what it takes to get the licence plates yesterday at work, you need the title, the insurance card, and a waiver that says something about the personal property, I don't know, Missouri is so weird, you have to pay taxes on the sale of the car, and then you have to pay personal taxes on it as well. I don't claim to fully understand the whole process, but Richard will help me along with it. and hopefully I can get my goddamned drivers license so I can legally drive in Missouri. This has been such a process, and Richard and I were talking about how when all of this is done, I will never want to deal with any of this shit again, I mean honest to god, this process, dealing with Springfield, IL, dealing with Missouri, I just never want to go through this again. At this point, it's been so long, that a couple of more weeks without a license is nothing compared to what I have waited up to this point. I think that'll be it for today, unless something else comes up and I have to write another novel. Whoop there it is!

OhTheYvette

Tuesday - March 13, 2001
This is a message from Yvette
I think I am crying, remember that time you got in a fight with your dad and you came to my house and we both called in to McKesson general medical the next day!! How about right before you got laid off and we went to The Bennigans at lunch and just drank margaritas, and then returned to work buzzed-HAHAHAHAHAHA! I am sorry I missed your call last night, I was past out! I know I miss you too, I feel like we should have spent more time together when you lived in the city!! Like we always say we always will remain close no matter how close or far away you and I are (titanic moment), even when we don't talk for awhile its like we never lost touch. I am serious about getting with lela on a date to come visit you, that would be so much funn!! I will have a date for you by the end of this weekend!!!! Will you be home Friday night?? Me and Lela, will pop you a call, believe me Lela always talk about how we miss you being around!! OK, I am done being emotional, I think it is PMDD-- Hey what was that obsessive, compulsive thing we use to say-OCD! Ok, honey mama's gotta go I am busy, love and miss you!!---VET

-----Original Message-----
From: William Rosen Me
Sent: Tuesday, March 13, 2001 10:44 AM
To: Yvette
Subject: RE: test

oh yea, it was no big deal, I just wanted to talk. You know that feeling, and I'm getting it with more and more frequency, that just speaking with someone makes you feel better, it doesn't matter what you're speaking about just that you're talking. That's how I felt last night when I called you, and I just wanted to talk. I miss you, and talking to you at work made me realize how much I missed you. So it was no big deal, just a little homesick, that's all.

from Yvette
HAHAAHaHAH of course that means that I won't get arrest in Chicago, nor anywhere in Illinois! Yvette 03/13/01 03:23PM
OH DEAR LORD WATCH OUT MISSOURI!!!!!!!!!! Does that mean you can drive here too and not get arrested?--OKBYE

-----Original Message----- From: William Rosen
Sent: Tuesday, March 13, 2001 3:18 PM
To:Yvette
Subject: BLAH

Vett:

I just got off the phone with the Illinois Secretary of State and they said that they have processed the payment with my license and my license is completely FREE AND CLEAR, now I can apply for a Missouri license and DRIVE AROUND!

Monday, March 12, 2001

Leila A. Nelson

Well this is brilliant. I just spoke with the Secretary of State's office in Springfield, IL and I told them that I tracked this mail to their office and a M. Rosa signed for the mail. So she was saying that if they received it on Friday morning, that they will be able to process all of this information by the end of the business week. So, by next week, I could have the letter that says that my license is re-instated. I got my car, she is so beautiful, I can't even tell you. It's an 1983 Oldsmobile Cutlass Brougham V-6, 3.8L. And it is in pristine condition. I just can't wait to get all of this figured out, with all of the insurance and registering it in Missouri, and all of this red-tape kind of stuff. It's just brilliant. Now that I have the car, it's like I just can't wait until I get this license, now it can never come to soon. Anyway, I just have to calm down, because I am just working myself up in a frenzy. I just called TRIPLE A and they quoted me aaa 6 month quote for car insurance of \\$470.00 which really isn't that bad, if you think it's something like \\$77.50 a month, which is NOT bad at all. I would have to become a member of AAA, which is something like \\$80 a year, but I would think that it would be worth it, if my car got stuck, or I got a flat tire, all you have to do is call them, and they come and pick you up. Fabulous. Plus there's a discount at a bunch of hotels, I just think that I am going to do that. I can't tell you how excited this whole process is, I am totally clearing up my life, and it feels so good. I just got an e-mail from my brother Mike: here it is:
Hi Bi!

What's going on? I'm glad to hear/see you've landed a good gig--sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, I was in Jackson Hole, WY doing some skiing but am back and not going on any vacations anytime soon. I hope things are going well in KC-nothing too exciting here except Mom and Dan got rid of the bunkbeds (Oh and Lynn Engelhardt moved)

Ok, I need to fly--Hope you're making it a great day,
Miss you,
Mike.
So that was really nice. I'll have to email him back and tell him about this whole process. I can't wait to see everyone when I go back to Chicago for Easter. It's going to be so great to see Sue and Thom, and see how Sue is pregnant! I should really work on the Southwest reservations. That's it for now, I can't think of anything else to put on here. Oh yeah that's right. I spoke with LEILA yesterday. She wanted me to mention her more, and I should

Friday, March 9, 2001

All My Children

Dammit, well we just found out that the townhouse that Richard wanted to buy was sold today, and that's a huge disappointment for him, I know. I know he was so looking forward to buying that town-house. He hasn't been feeling well these past couple of days, his throat is killing him, and I just hope that I don't catch anything from him :-) Let's see what's happened in the last couple of days, I just talked to the Illinois Secretary of State, and what was my mistake, is now causing this process to be delayed once again, but it's no big deal, I still have all the paperwork that is necessary to re-instate my licence. We just sent the mail U.S. Post Office rather than fed-ex'ng it, and the Secretary of State didn't' have to sign for the package, so it goes in regular mail. Does this all make sense? Because I didn't have someone sign for the overnight mail, it goes into regular mail, so the processing time for regular mail is something like fifteen days. I faxed in my time sheet for this week to Spherion so I should be paid on time this next week. So at least there is one good thing to report, and that is that I am going to make my first payment to Michael Sullivan tomorrow, on the 10th, and pick up my CAR! It's going to be crazy to have a car all to myself once again, I have been thinking of a name that I should use, and I think that I am going to wait on that, until I see the car, and get a feel of it, how it drives, and the car's personality. I thought about naming it Consueilla again, just because my Saturn didn't get a proper burial in Chicago, it was just taken away from me and then eventually smashed up. I still get a rumble in my stomach about that, I love Consueilla, but then again what are you going to do? So maybe I'll name her after the Saturn, but I get the feeling that I'll want to name her differently because this car is gong to be a whole new world. An 84 Oldsmobile Cutlass, four door, I believe. I will be able to report much better on all the details on Monday, when I get a chance to sit in the car, and drive it. The more I talk about this, the more I get excited, so I'll just calm a bit down. Even though I don't have a drivers licence, I'll just drive it really carefully home, and then just wait until I get my licence to drive it around Kansas City. Richard and I were talking about this whole issue, he was telling me that he was feeling a little bit insecure about this whole car thing, that it's going to give me a whole new perspective on this city, and that it's going to give me a lot more independence and he was worried about that, thinking that I am going to find something else to amuse me, or that I would get bored with him or something. I think that it is stemming from the whole incident on Monday night, so he's just feeling a little bit insecure, I'll just have to make sure that I pay attention to him, and how he's feeling much more for the next couple of weeks. I have to go to lunch!

March 9, 2001
OH MY GODWell I just had lunch with Melissa, Connie andPhyllis who are the women that I trained with, and we were talking about relationships, and they (actually Phyllis) then asked me what my story was, because I apparently told them that I moved here because of a relationship, and then Phyllis said "all I want to know is, if it's a girl or a guy?" I just smiled and laughed and of course I told them, and then they proceeded to ask me about what that was all about, and laughed. It just felt good to be honest with them. I always love coming out to new people, it always makes me feel good about myself, and makes me feel that I am more honest than I was previously, because I feel like when I talked about myself, I never said anything specific, and it was finally spoken. It's really no big deal, but it sort of is, it's like on National Coming Out day, what a great feeling that it is to come out to someone you've not known for a long time.

So anyway, I just got an email from Richard that said that he just got a call from an agent who said that they wanted to show the house tomorrow, on Saturday, and that the agent went past the house with a young couple, and that the house might be sold very fast. Then I just asked him if the house sells, and we don't have any place to go, then where do WE go? I said should we invest in a tent that we'll put in the overpass on the highway, or do we stay in the local homeless shelter? I know it's all in fun, but for christ's sake, it's sort of nerve-racking. Needless to say that I have full faith in this process, and I should just let it happen, it'll all work out. We had a rehearsal with Kelly Marzett last night at UMKC, and he and Richard were rehearsing "All that I am" and "Superstition" and I just thought that Kelly was absolutely fabulous, I am going to try and make it to church on Sunday to hear him sing, I love hearing him. It feels like I've typed that before, so maybe I already mentioned that, it feels like I did, who knows. I have to keep on adjusting my chair because when I type, it starts to hurt my hands, and I don't' want to have to sue Shook, Hardy & Bacon for ergonomic injuries! I just can't wait to update this damm webpage, I've been craving to change it for a while now, and there's a lot of stuff that I want to do with it, I just don't have the time, plus, I don't have the access, as the lovely WebTV doesn't allow me access to change the files, and I can't copy and paste anything on that, and it's sort of annoying. I went on the All My Children site last night, because I wanted to find out what was happening with my Kids, and I only got a chance to look at the front page, and it said that Leo had found the videotape of David I forget his last name; the evil one, drugging the incredibledreams.com party with libidizone. That's all I know now. I wonder if that incredibledreams.com site is a real site, I linked to it anyway, so if it's not a real site, then someone please tell me! I wanted to make a mention of the upcoming show, to plug HMC for a little bit.

This energetic showbiz tour de force will dazzle your spats off with music of the theater. It's our tribute to the grande dame of 12th Street, the Folly Theater, on her 100th birthday. We'll celebrate this historic Kansas City gem with glitz, glamour and showtunes. Also we'll nod to the stars who've belted from behind those footlights over the years -- and even to the Folly's dawdier days as a house of burlesque. Singing and dancing boys will charm the blues right out of the horn and make you glad to be back home where you belong.
That's it for now, I wlll keep on updating when I get a chance to get to a computer, that seems like it's far and few between, but I will keep on updating as much as I can. Send me mail and let me know what is going on in your world!

Thursday, March 8, 2001

Christ On A Stick

March 8, 2001
Well, I had the first stumbling block with my relationship with Richard, but we passed over it not with ease, but, thankfully we got through it. I don't want to detail what happened, because it was all my fault, and this is very public domain, so let's just say that I screwed up major, and he was not pleased whatsoever. When things like this happen, I just have a tendency to bolt, to take off and leave the situation. I think it's just a reaction that I used to have when dealing with family matters, and when I would get into an argument with my parents, nine times out of ten, I would just bolt out of the house and go into the woods. I can remember so many times getting into an argument with my Mom or Dad, and then going into the forest preserve that was across from our house, I used to go down to the whatever branch of the DuPage river, and go to this place where there was a tree that had been knocked over the creek, and just sit there and cry, after that, I would go to the place where the horses were, the stables into the woods, and would go and talk to the horses, and feed them, somehow that made me feel better, and I would go back to the house, not feeling better, but at least getting a lot of that stuff out. I bolted out of Richard's house in the morning, I think it was a Tuesday morning, if I'm not mistaken, and I just decided to take the bus, rather than him having to take me, because I was so humiliated at myself and my actions. I didn't say anything to him, and it was completely unfair to him, because he thought that I was mad at him, but I was just totally embarrassed by the night before. I really have to work on this type of issue, because it's an escape mechanism and it doesn't deal with anything, it just leaves the two parties just more pissed at each other, and it doesn't help anything. Needless to say that Richard and I have come to an agreement, and the chapter on that issue has been closed forever. Truly, it just made me realize how wonderful he is, and how extraordinarily lucky I am to have such a wonderful man in my life. There was talk of me getting on a plane back to Chicago, that's how serious it was, but like I said before we got through it, and I'm staying here at Shook and staying in Kansas City, with Richard, while we move out of the house. That's another thing, Richard has officially put up his house for sale, the sign is going to go up in the yard on Saturday, and hopefully he'll get the Quality Hill condo that he's been looking at. On a much brighter note, I am going to purchase a car on Saturday. It's from Michael Sullivan, who's in the chorus, and his grandmother had a 84 Oldsmobile Cutlass, that he wanted to sell, and I am going to make my first payment on the car on Saturday and pick the car up and drive it back to Kansas City, from Overland Park, KS. I am so terribly excited. On that same note, I made a final payment to the flipping Secretary of State of Illinois, the re-instatement fee to get my license back in order, and I overnighted it to the office. They said in that office, that it should take 3-10 business days to process that, and then I will be able to apply for a Missouri drivers license. I can't tell you how terribly excited I am about that. I got a job, and now I have a car, and on the way very soon to have a drivers license. The other thing was that I talked to the Chexsystemspeople and they said that they receive my payment of \\$36.37, and it would take a while to process that, but after that, I can get a bank account and start direct depositing my checks from Shook, and start saving some money for auto insurance, and that type of thing. I just can't tell you how good it feels to get all of this stuff back in order. Like I've said before in this journal, I really have no idea how it got so terribly out of control, now that I have it in control, I'll never loose sight of it again. That's it for now, I'll probably have more later. Who knows, and WHOOP THERE IT IS!

Sunday, March 4, 2001

03/04/01

Well, I had my first week of training last week, and I have my first week of actual work this week at Shook. I found out on Friday where I sit, and it's sort of in the corner, sort of secluded from the rest of the floor, which I sort of like, I don't have any windows, but that's okay because there is a lot of windows in the halls and so forth. I was telling Richard that I wanted to get one of those panoramic cameras and take a picture from up on the 38th floor, those would be great pictures. Nothing really to report for this weekend, yesterday we went to Susan Peterson's and Richard gave Kendra a piano lesson, we had dinner, and then we pretty much left after that. I woke up this morning at like noon, which was fabulous, because I had missed a bunch of sleep from Friday night, becuse I just didn't sleep, so Saturday I was totally cranky, so I apologized to Richard about that. Today I didn't go to church, I just stayed at home and slept, and then Richard and I went to the chineese place for lunch, and then came home and we both napped, it was sort of funny, here we are both on the third floor, just snoring out of control, I woke up, and I was totally soaked, from sweating, and then I changed the channel and Richard woke up, it was cute. So here I am now, writing my journal entry and it's 7:20om on Sunday, so I think that I'll continue to write this journal from work, and somehow send it to myself when I get a chance. BooHoo.