Thursday, April 25, 2002

yeah baby, slipping the wife the tongue

ok this is me writing in 2011 right now. I, of course forgot about this particular entry and it makes me sad to read it. Don't get me wrong, I think it's a pretty funny entry, it just made me sad for a little bit because I miss Cindy.

Social and business events happen exactly as planned. Realize your goals by making them appear as accidents. Libra hates to make a fuss, but he or she won't complain about being the center of attention.

So let's re-cap Tuesday night for you. Went to rehearsal a bit early after going to the downtown Starfucks (iced venti quad white chocolate mocha breve) and watching the coolant pour out of my car like it had broken it's water. Rehearsal was fine, I actually had to give my ex some loose cd's back. So going out after rehearsal turned out to be more of an adventure than I had originally planned. I asked the wife if she could follow me to the bar, because I wasn't sure what my car is up to, and lo and behold, my engine light flipped on, and then after a while, my emergency brake light when on too (don't laugh it's an 83 Chrysler remember?) I decided to thwart plan a and go for b. I jumped out and let wife know that I was just going to go home, and asked her if she could take me to the bar and back afterwards. Get home, show wife my pad, she adores it. Proceed to the bar, where there are apparently two New Orleans faeries performing. Got to meet them, and got to talk to a guy named Collins, who was a friend of my ex's, a longitme supporter of the chorus, who I run into everywhere I go. It's just one of odd things. So, I was a bit happy at this point and not that I remember any of this, but Cindy took me home and I kissed her and apparently tried to slip her the tongue. Another angle of this is being composed at time of print from the wife. I can't wait to hear what she has to say.
6:27pm
Okay, here you go:
The Wife's Journal Entry
2-25-02
William K. Rosen has asked me to write my account of what happened on the evening of April 23, 2002. I'm hesitant because it is two days after the fact and not fresh in my mind and also because while the incident is not as fresh, the suffering and angst are.

My evening with William K. Rosen aka Wild Bill, Billy, One and Only Gay Husband, Bill, started out peacefully at approximately 6:30 pm, Grace Cathedral, Kansas City, MO. We had gathered for our weekly Heartland Men's Chorus rehearsal. I was seated at a table at the south end of the rehearsal hall working on a very detailed and important assignment for Executive Director Rick Fisher. Billy came down to visit. He seemed pleasant, coherent, and in full control of his faculties. He gave me no reason for concern or to think that anything untoward would happen before the evening was over. 

I left rehearsal at approximately 6:55 to attend my Comedy City rehearsal, returning at approximately 9:15 to rejoin the Heartland Men's Chorus and to rendezvous for the previously scheduled outing to Missy B's. (Ed. Note: Belle Starr is beautiful, but Cindy Bixby is one whale of a lot cuter and nicer.) At the end of rehearsal, Billy came up to me and explained that his car was having issues - some cockamamie story about it leaking large amounts of fluid and the engine light coming on. I had no reason to suspect that this story was simply a lure to get me to take him in my car. He asked me to follow him to Missy B.'s. I agreed. Part way to Missy B's he took an alternative route, but again I was not concerned. He then stopped at a light, jumped out of his car and asked me to follow him home and then take him back to Missy B's. Again I had no reasons to be concerned. 

Once at his house he asked me to come in and I did so. He did get somewhat insistent that I come in, but I thought he was just proud of his house. He then suggested on more than one occasion that I come in and see his bedroom. Looking back on it, this should have been a large red flag, flapping in the wind, to the point of fraying, but at the time it all seemed innocent enough. I was not privy to his design of desire. I went into his bedroom, staying as close to the door as a lady should when visiting a gentlemen's bedroom. Again, I had no way of knowing that William K. Rosen was NO gentlemen. 

We left his home and drove back to Missy B.'s where he proceeded to pull out a large sum of money and flash it in my face - then say in a suggestive manner, "Why don't you just buy me a couple of drinks?" Again, with hindsight I've come to realize this was all part of his plotted seduction scene. Throughout the evening he flitted about me like a little honey bee, asking me early on if I would give him a ride home. Again, I agreed. I had no idea was was to follow. I did tell him that Mr. Davis and I would be leaving early - by midnight - because we had early morning responsibilities. He said that would be OK and he would just go when we did. Yes, I know, bells should have been going off in my head, but he just kept smiling at me in that cute puppy dog way he has. 

At one point I left the safety of my fellow chorus members to sit on the lower level and listen to the band. Looking back I should not have been surprised that Mr. Rosen followed me and sat down at my table - presumably to talk. Again, aided by hindsight, I now realize that "talk" was not at all what he had in mind. 

Later in the evening he came and asked me if he could be my one and only gay husband. Since I've always been fond of Billy and since I don't already have a gay husband, I agreed. It seemed like a show of support from one chorus member to another - albeit I am a non-singing member. He continued to come back to my table and remind me that I had agreed to this. 

At approximately 1:40 am, I realized it was midnight and told Billy we were going. As we left, he began to tell me how much he loved me. Mr. Davis, my true protector, asked if I would be alright and did I want him to take Billy or to follow me. Since I knew Mr. Davis had an early flight the next morning, I too hastily waived his kindly offers aside. 

At one point in the parking lot Billy was nearly hit by a car and in his distracted passion cursed the driver a bit. Then, much to my shock, and in front of Mr. Davis, he began pleading to have my child. Again, I thought it was the senseless ramblings of a near accident victim who had faced down death and lived to whine about it. 

I was not prepared then for the advances that he made when he arrived at his home. First, it was our customary peck goodbye, but this quickly turned into a series of pecks - at one point one peck went to my neck. I thought he'd just slipped. When I lifted his head up he approached for yet another kiss, putting light, but definite tongue pressure on my lips. I recoiled in shocked horror and encouraged to leave my car. I thought he realized what he did, but now am led to understand that he is claiming that he doesn't remember the whole latter part of the evening. 

Perhaps, but I think maybe a certain Mr. Rosen is worried about exactly how gay is he and maybe concerned that his reputation as a gay man is ruined. I have no intention of telling anyone about this incident - except for John, my fiancĂ©e - oh yes, and my good friend Mr. Davis - and of course, my secretary overheard my part of a phone call with Mr. Rosen the day after. But other than that - oh yeah my Mom will probably get a kick out of hearing about it. And I think it is only fair to warn everyone else in my section - and this will require a copy of this statement be sent to all Heartland Men's Chorus Board Members and in triplicate to Rick Fisher, Exceutive Director. Oh, and immediately afterwards I stopped at Texas Tom's for a Diet Pepsi and I told the guy who took my order, but I see that more as trauma counseling. I also write columns for the Paradise Trailer Park Tabloid, The Pea Picken Daily, and I do think I might base an advice question or a column on the incident, but other than that - silence. Ok, maybe I should tell everyone at Missy B's in case he asks them for a ride home , but after that, my slips are sealed! (Unless Richard Held and I get chummy!) Oh, did I mention I'd already e-mailed the entire Radical Fairy movement members? Including one Mr. Wolfgang , previously an admirer of our Bill. 

Sincerely, 
Cynthia Bixby