a lettah from my wonderful sistah
a lettah from my wonderful sistah
This may not be absolute perfection, but it's the next best thing. You're in an ideal position to give the world something that it truly needs. If there are generous side benefits for you, so much the better.
This is a letter from my sister, re: my reportingfrom.com article that I posted. I shouldn't have posted that, because 1.) it wasn't serious, I wasn't thinking right, and I had no intention of going through with anything of the sort and 2) it illicits this type of response. I love everyone for caring, I was just not thinking right that day..I haven't been thinking right for the last couple of weeks, and that entry was a culmination of shitty things that happened in my life, and they all ended with that stupid article. Let me just apologize now for that. Needless to say, this is the response that my fabulous sister had to it:
Hey Billy,
It's Mary here.
I just wrote this note for like a 1/2 hour and somehow I deleted it-but let me say that it was quite a letter. Let me see if I can reiterate my thoughts. I was writing in response to your "reporting from KC" and I am on the verge of tears and am upset. I know you said that you were just having a rough day. I wanted to share some things with you.
Basically, I wanted to say that I realize you are struggling with stuff now. Struggling with finding value with your time, finding a job, and being a burden to others. What I wanted to share is that peoples' perceptions of their own reality and the reality of others- is just that - a perception. Basically, as perfect and on tract as others may seem, it is never the case. I spent hours on Sunday crying because I felt like I had made a mistake in taking this new teaching job. I felt that I was no good at it, and gotten in way over my head, was out of my league, found no happiness in my teaching, and found little value to the job in general. I was ready to quit on MOnday. Seriously quit and not go back. I wasn't even sure what the hell I was going to do- but I convinced myself that this was surely not it. You might say-but you have a job. But to me, that's not the point. We ask ourselves, is this what I was put on the earth to do? I'd place a big wager that it is not. So as great as others' lives may seem- they struggle too. Struggle with jobs, with money, with feeling burdensome to the ones they love. I asked JOhn on Sunday after my day of drama, "is it hard being married to Me?" He said of course not- but we struggle with the thought of being a burden to others.
Bill, we are proud of you and your life. We are happy that you spend your live and invest your life in Richard. We comment all the time about your sense of humor, how you really don't care what others think-most of us try to do that but you really do it. we think it is the coolest thing how you write to your representative, and to the president, and to the Queen for God's sake. You do things about it, not just complain about it. Your website is inspiring, and I find it a comfort to read about you and your life with Richard, and all of the interesting people you meet, and things that you do and music that you listen to. You travel the road less traveled. You may percieve yourself as a failure-not living up to the "rosen standards" whatever that is. I strongly disagree. I don't think that and I take exception to the thought. You should be proud of yourself and don't let perceptions interfere with that. We want our love for you to be a source of comfort, not a source of distress. We don't sit around and gossip about how you haven't found a job. Who cares anyway? As nuts as it sounds, you can look at this time as a gift. A gift from God. To explore, to struggle and to find a path. It may not be a perfect path, but the point I'm trying to get across is that no one's path is perfect, even though it seems that way. Take comfort in the things you have in your life. Richard. Music. A nice cup of coffee. A family who cares and loves you very much. An older sister who would do anything for you to help you find peace in your life. As cliche as this sounds, I believe with all my heart that in times such as this, when things are going to shit fast, that seeking advice and comfort from people who can help is admirable. Whoever those people are in your life is up to you. A mate, a friend, a stranger, a priest, a counselor etc. whoever. Bi, we love you and I wish you peace in your life. You will find a path soon, I promise you. I love you Bill. Sorry if I rambled on, but I couldn't really talk after reading your things, so I thought I'd just write a bit. Take care. I love you.
Mary
Isn't she the best....??? Now, Mary, and all others, go and check out my most recent article on reportingfrom.com, and see that things are much better. I detailed the dream that I dreamt last night, in this journal too, but you get the idea that everything has come full circle from that horrible day, and that now I have two jobs!
This may not be absolute perfection, but it's the next best thing. You're in an ideal position to give the world something that it truly needs. If there are generous side benefits for you, so much the better.
This is a letter from my sister, re: my reportingfrom.com article that I posted. I shouldn't have posted that, because 1.) it wasn't serious, I wasn't thinking right, and I had no intention of going through with anything of the sort and 2) it illicits this type of response. I love everyone for caring, I was just not thinking right that day..I haven't been thinking right for the last couple of weeks, and that entry was a culmination of shitty things that happened in my life, and they all ended with that stupid article. Let me just apologize now for that. Needless to say, this is the response that my fabulous sister had to it:
Hey Billy,
It's Mary here.
I just wrote this note for like a 1/2 hour and somehow I deleted it-but let me say that it was quite a letter. Let me see if I can reiterate my thoughts. I was writing in response to your "reporting from KC" and I am on the verge of tears and am upset. I know you said that you were just having a rough day. I wanted to share some things with you.
Basically, I wanted to say that I realize you are struggling with stuff now. Struggling with finding value with your time, finding a job, and being a burden to others. What I wanted to share is that peoples' perceptions of their own reality and the reality of others- is just that - a perception. Basically, as perfect and on tract as others may seem, it is never the case. I spent hours on Sunday crying because I felt like I had made a mistake in taking this new teaching job. I felt that I was no good at it, and gotten in way over my head, was out of my league, found no happiness in my teaching, and found little value to the job in general. I was ready to quit on MOnday. Seriously quit and not go back. I wasn't even sure what the hell I was going to do- but I convinced myself that this was surely not it. You might say-but you have a job. But to me, that's not the point. We ask ourselves, is this what I was put on the earth to do? I'd place a big wager that it is not. So as great as others' lives may seem- they struggle too. Struggle with jobs, with money, with feeling burdensome to the ones they love. I asked JOhn on Sunday after my day of drama, "is it hard being married to Me?" He said of course not- but we struggle with the thought of being a burden to others.
Bill, we are proud of you and your life. We are happy that you spend your live and invest your life in Richard. We comment all the time about your sense of humor, how you really don't care what others think-most of us try to do that but you really do it. we think it is the coolest thing how you write to your representative, and to the president, and to the Queen for God's sake. You do things about it, not just complain about it. Your website is inspiring, and I find it a comfort to read about you and your life with Richard, and all of the interesting people you meet, and things that you do and music that you listen to. You travel the road less traveled. You may percieve yourself as a failure-not living up to the "rosen standards" whatever that is. I strongly disagree. I don't think that and I take exception to the thought. You should be proud of yourself and don't let perceptions interfere with that. We want our love for you to be a source of comfort, not a source of distress. We don't sit around and gossip about how you haven't found a job. Who cares anyway? As nuts as it sounds, you can look at this time as a gift. A gift from God. To explore, to struggle and to find a path. It may not be a perfect path, but the point I'm trying to get across is that no one's path is perfect, even though it seems that way. Take comfort in the things you have in your life. Richard. Music. A nice cup of coffee. A family who cares and loves you very much. An older sister who would do anything for you to help you find peace in your life. As cliche as this sounds, I believe with all my heart that in times such as this, when things are going to shit fast, that seeking advice and comfort from people who can help is admirable. Whoever those people are in your life is up to you. A mate, a friend, a stranger, a priest, a counselor etc. whoever. Bi, we love you and I wish you peace in your life. You will find a path soon, I promise you. I love you Bill. Sorry if I rambled on, but I couldn't really talk after reading your things, so I thought I'd just write a bit. Take care. I love you.
Mary
Isn't she the best....??? Now, Mary, and all others, go and check out my most recent article on reportingfrom.com, and see that things are much better. I detailed the dream that I dreamt last night, in this journal too, but you get the idea that everything has come full circle from that horrible day, and that now I have two jobs!
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