Christ On A Stick
March 8, 2001
Well, I had the first stumbling block with my relationship with Richard, but we passed over it not with ease, but, thankfully we got through it. I don't want to detail what happened, because it was all my fault, and this is very public domain, so let's just say that I screwed up major, and he was not pleased whatsoever. When things like this happen, I just have a tendency to bolt, to take off and leave the situation. I think it's just a reaction that I used to have when dealing with family matters, and when I would get into an argument with my parents, nine times out of ten, I would just bolt out of the house and go into the woods. I can remember so many times getting into an argument with my Mom or Dad, and then going into the forest preserve that was across from our house, I used to go down to the whatever branch of the DuPage river, and go to this place where there was a tree that had been knocked over the creek, and just sit there and cry, after that, I would go to the place where the horses were, the stables into the woods, and would go and talk to the horses, and feed them, somehow that made me feel better, and I would go back to the house, not feeling better, but at least getting a lot of that stuff out. I bolted out of Richard's house in the morning, I think it was a Tuesday morning, if I'm not mistaken, and I just decided to take the bus, rather than him having to take me, because I was so humiliated at myself and my actions. I didn't say anything to him, and it was completely unfair to him, because he thought that I was mad at him, but I was just totally embarrassed by the night before. I really have to work on this type of issue, because it's an escape mechanism and it doesn't deal with anything, it just leaves the two parties just more pissed at each other, and it doesn't help anything. Needless to say that Richard and I have come to an agreement, and the chapter on that issue has been closed forever. Truly, it just made me realize how wonderful he is, and how extraordinarily lucky I am to have such a wonderful man in my life. There was talk of me getting on a plane back to Chicago, that's how serious it was, but like I said before we got through it, and I'm staying here at Shook and staying in Kansas City, with Richard, while we move out of the house. That's another thing, Richard has officially put up his house for sale, the sign is going to go up in the yard on Saturday, and hopefully he'll get the Quality Hill condo that he's been looking at. On a much brighter note, I am going to purchase a car on Saturday. It's from Michael Sullivan, who's in the chorus, and his grandmother had a 84 Oldsmobile Cutlass, that he wanted to sell, and I am going to make my first payment on the car on Saturday and pick the car up and drive it back to Kansas City, from Overland Park, KS. I am so terribly excited. On that same note, I made a final payment to the flipping Secretary of State of Illinois, the re-instatement fee to get my license back in order, and I overnighted it to the office. They said in that office, that it should take 3-10 business days to process that, and then I will be able to apply for a Missouri drivers license. I can't tell you how terribly excited I am about that. I got a job, and now I have a car, and on the way very soon to have a drivers license. The other thing was that I talked to the Chexsystemspeople and they said that they receive my payment of \\$36.37, and it would take a while to process that, but after that, I can get a bank account and start direct depositing my checks from Shook, and start saving some money for auto insurance, and that type of thing. I just can't tell you how good it feels to get all of this stuff back in order. Like I've said before in this journal, I really have no idea how it got so terribly out of control, now that I have it in control, I'll never loose sight of it again. That's it for now, I'll probably have more later. Who knows, and WHOOP THERE IT IS!
Well, I had the first stumbling block with my relationship with Richard, but we passed over it not with ease, but, thankfully we got through it. I don't want to detail what happened, because it was all my fault, and this is very public domain, so let's just say that I screwed up major, and he was not pleased whatsoever. When things like this happen, I just have a tendency to bolt, to take off and leave the situation. I think it's just a reaction that I used to have when dealing with family matters, and when I would get into an argument with my parents, nine times out of ten, I would just bolt out of the house and go into the woods. I can remember so many times getting into an argument with my Mom or Dad, and then going into the forest preserve that was across from our house, I used to go down to the whatever branch of the DuPage river, and go to this place where there was a tree that had been knocked over the creek, and just sit there and cry, after that, I would go to the place where the horses were, the stables into the woods, and would go and talk to the horses, and feed them, somehow that made me feel better, and I would go back to the house, not feeling better, but at least getting a lot of that stuff out. I bolted out of Richard's house in the morning, I think it was a Tuesday morning, if I'm not mistaken, and I just decided to take the bus, rather than him having to take me, because I was so humiliated at myself and my actions. I didn't say anything to him, and it was completely unfair to him, because he thought that I was mad at him, but I was just totally embarrassed by the night before. I really have to work on this type of issue, because it's an escape mechanism and it doesn't deal with anything, it just leaves the two parties just more pissed at each other, and it doesn't help anything. Needless to say that Richard and I have come to an agreement, and the chapter on that issue has been closed forever. Truly, it just made me realize how wonderful he is, and how extraordinarily lucky I am to have such a wonderful man in my life. There was talk of me getting on a plane back to Chicago, that's how serious it was, but like I said before we got through it, and I'm staying here at Shook and staying in Kansas City, with Richard, while we move out of the house. That's another thing, Richard has officially put up his house for sale, the sign is going to go up in the yard on Saturday, and hopefully he'll get the Quality Hill condo that he's been looking at. On a much brighter note, I am going to purchase a car on Saturday. It's from Michael Sullivan, who's in the chorus, and his grandmother had a 84 Oldsmobile Cutlass, that he wanted to sell, and I am going to make my first payment on the car on Saturday and pick the car up and drive it back to Kansas City, from Overland Park, KS. I am so terribly excited. On that same note, I made a final payment to the flipping Secretary of State of Illinois, the re-instatement fee to get my license back in order, and I overnighted it to the office. They said in that office, that it should take 3-10 business days to process that, and then I will be able to apply for a Missouri drivers license. I can't tell you how terribly excited I am about that. I got a job, and now I have a car, and on the way very soon to have a drivers license. The other thing was that I talked to the Chexsystemspeople and they said that they receive my payment of \\$36.37, and it would take a while to process that, but after that, I can get a bank account and start direct depositing my checks from Shook, and start saving some money for auto insurance, and that type of thing. I just can't tell you how good it feels to get all of this stuff back in order. Like I've said before in this journal, I really have no idea how it got so terribly out of control, now that I have it in control, I'll never loose sight of it again. That's it for now, I'll probably have more later. Who knows, and WHOOP THERE IT IS!
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